What the hell is wrong with you two? I’m sick of the Diva Act!
You’re like Mariah and Whitney, and trust me, it isn't cute.
Okay crackheads, listen up. Every morning, you are gently tucked into an expensive bra. It’s pretty. It’s soft. The two of you are in separate dressing rooms and everything. As far as body parts go, you’ve got it made. YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING BUT LOOK GOOD.
Except for you, Whitney. You can look a little rough in certain lights.
But now that the uterus is getting a little attention for the first time in—oh, I don’t know—4 YEARS, you have to get all pissy.
Who’s idea was it to swell up? Huh? I’m looking at you, MARIAH.
Ladies, we just shrunk back to pre-pregnancy bras, okay? The tags are barely off the lace. BACK OFF!
Wait, you know all about “backing off” don’t you? That’s what you scream anytime the husband tries to touch you or give us a hug. And God forbid I take you out of your precious foo-foo bra and put you in pj’s.
You two think you’re too cute for cotton.
Fine.
You’ll get what’s coming to you.
You know Big Belly is going to show up in a few months and totally steal the show.
I suggest you learn how to deal.
Lovingly With All My Heart,
Jaci
15 comments:
Jaci Oh my girlie that was funny!
Oh my goodness! That is exactly what mine did when I was pregnant too. Thank you so much for cheering up my day!
i completely forgot about the hurting boobs until you mentioned it. ouch.
I'm dying... ahahaha.
Here's hoping your girls get right real soon!
awe give them a break, they are just trying to have a little fun.
Soooo true. My boobs are giving me hell during this pregnancy. I guess i should just be happy that they're getting so huge (I am not normally blessed in that department), but it hurts so much that I've decided that bigger isn't always better.
Hahaha this is hilarious, and oh, so true! It's exactly what I was thinking with mine...and still am! Luckily (or not), my belly has begun to steal the spotlight :)
: ) So cute! I just read your little comment blurb and am laughing my head off!
Now THAT is creative. Hilarious. Things I will not miss now that I'm done with pregnancy...
Ahhh, the joys of pregnancy. I say I enjoyed being pregnant, but then I read things like this and think that I must be smoking crack!
Uh. Hate to be the rain on the parade but I feel the need to remind you of *engorgement*.
Perky is not the word.
I love how you named your boobs... Mariah and Whitney :o) Muahahaha
So funny, so true. Even almost 15 years later I can remember that pain. In fact, that was what made me think I might be pregnant to begin with!
BTW, there's an award waiting for you at my site - look under I'm Flabbergasted.
Love your blog.
Jaci, I <3 you! I posted a conversation like this that I had with my turkey last Thanksgiving, and I talk to the girls all the time, but I don't know if I'd have the guts to post it in my blog :) Props to you :) Oh and I went to my first Prep for Childbirth class on Monday and the former Doula teaching the class made the mistake of telling our partners that our bodies release a hormone right after birth that makes us completely forget how much the whole process hurt so that we will keep procreating... Lol.. I always wondered how people have more than one kid... I always thought they drugged you on the way out, you know some serious memory wiping stuff, turns out, our bodies do it for them lol...
Freaking hilarious.
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