I’m so tired of beating my head against the wall about money.
(I know it’s a “dirty subject” that everyone avoids, but let’s get real. Money sucks.)
Did you know that some credit card companies aren’t just raising interest rates, but they are doubling the minimum payments? So that $100 credit card payment that I struggle to put anything extra on each month might jump up to $200. If that happens to my cards—fugetaboutit. We’re done.
We basically live paycheck to paycheck, even with two incomes. I’ll admit it—my measly $1,000 per month doesn’t cover much. I bring in enough to cover name brand food, an occasional outfit from the clearance rack, a couple dinners out, and a few DVD rentals. (I know, I’m living the pampered high life.) Originally, my job was supposed to pay down debt…then a car died, and my paychecks went toward a new one…
Yeah. That plan got screwed.
Now, with the baby coming, we’re going back to one income for at least 3-4 months. Honestly? I’m freaking out about it. I don’t know how we’re going to make ends meet.
Come hell or high water, I’m going to breastfeed this time. (I really don’t have the option of shelling out $30 a can for formula.) I want to turn off the cable and the home phone NOW, so at least we can save a little, but Kevin is fighting me about it. We already “brown bag it” and as soon as I can stomach being in the kitchen, I’ll make dinners and stop picking up take out. Beyond that…what else is there to cut?!? We already be po’ folks.
Side note: I HATE the lame money saving tips financial advisors give! Really? That’s all I need to do is BROWN BAG IT and MAKE MY OWN COFFEE and my $8,000 credit card debt will be gone in a year?!? Holy shit, WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE TELL ME THIS SOONER?!?!?!? Morons.
And as for Christmas… *deep sigh*
I set Elizabeth’s budget at $150. It’s enough for the toy laptop she’s been dying for…and a Tag Reader…and a few “little” things. The tree isn’t going to be surrounded by a sea of gifts this year.
Oddly enough, I don’t think she’ll notice! While the thought of a budget Christmas is killing me with I-Suck-As-A-Mommy Guilt…she’s 4! She thinks the $.50 toy machine at the grocery store is DA BOMB and plays with those things instead of the expensive stuff.
(Can I tell you a secret? I only spent $20 on her birthday gifts. I meant to buy Monsters vs. Aliens to go along with it, but forgot. Did she care? NOPE. She had no clue.)
I’m curious. Where do you set the Christmas limit for your kids?
27 comments:
The Christmas my brothers and I remember most fondly was the one my mom couldn't afford to do more than a few small things. Instead of lots of gifts, she took us each on a hunt for the gifts. She took a Polaroid picture of a location that would give us a clue to where our present was, and wrapped the picture up in a gift box. It was a scavenger hunt and we loved it.
I've been thinking about this since K's birthday is at the beginning of December and then Christmas comes right after. He's totally getting a potty for his birthday - something to unwrap and it's useful! Potty training, here we come! I'll throw in a few other little things...maybe $25 max for the birthday. Then for Christmas, I'm thinking $75 max - he's two - he's happy throwing crayons around the living room (which end up in the laundry, by the way). And family will throw in their own smorgasbord of crap that he'll play with for 5 minutes and then go back to chunking crayons.
On a side note, while I appreciate the value of reusing and recycling...and appreciate the fact that toys are most likely not going to be played with to their fullest extent...is it wrong for me to be perturbed when the in-laws bring over used toys from their neighbors grandaughter for my son to play with? Like, used to the point of where it's missing crap but still basically works? Cause, maybe I'm just shallow/petty but that really bugs me.
I know whatcha mean - money sucks; especially when you don't have it!
Starting setting limits now will save you much in the end. They don't really care at 4; give 'em the box and they are usually happy. With a teen, it's much harder - not necessarily because they want/expect a lot - but because of the price of their "toys."
But let go of the Mommy Guilt; it's not worth it. And you know what? No matter what she gets she'll be happy.
I'm spending 400 on Christmas this year, but that's split between 3 kids. I plan to breastfeed this time too. We get WIC but they don't give you enough vouchers for formula for the entire month, so we still spend about $50 a month on formula. Plus, look on the bright side, if you breastfeed you don't have to wash dirty bottles.
Oh man, we JUST had this convo this morning. We figured that with the grandparents buying, that we can skimp by with just one from us, the one from Santa, and we are going to try a new thing this year. One girl with one parent and let them pick a gift for one another. Diva is 4, Goat is 2, but she will be able to pick something appropriate. Goats birthday is also on Dec. 22, so honestly I am going to do her party early Dec. and that will really help make up the difference. I really like when people give books and movies, because both girls get to benefit from it.
I hate the money thing too. Such a headache every month! I just called the phone company, sattelite, internet people, and asked them what we could do to cut the bill. They got us on some deals and cut almost 60 bucks off our monthly payments. Give it a try, whats the worst they can say? no?
I love that you are going to nurse, is that lame of me to say? I nursed with both girlies, and it saved us a small fortune. I also yard sale for all the necessary baby clothing, which saved us HUGE. Craigslist and ebay help a lot too. If you register on websites for baby products, they always send out coupons in the mail. $2 off a box of diapers helps to stretch that dollar. I wish you lots of luck! If you find the secret to making millions, hook a sista up! Ha!
Deanna - I hate the used/garage sale crap, too, so if you're wrong so am I!
My in-laws stocked their basment with really cheap garage sale toys for my daughter to play with when they watch her. It's not that I'm mad that my daughter isn't playing with NEW...I'm mad because she has a house stuffed full of HER NEW TOYS just 20 minutes down the road!!! They are more than welcome to take her to my house and let her play...instead they stay at their house and let her play with junk.
And if the toy is broken and missing pieces--IT IS JUNK.
My limit for my daughter this year is $200...but really only because I bought her the DS she wanted. Usually its around $150. Money makes me head hurt.
(oh, and I'm soooo trying harder to get this new one to nurse! Ugh, formula.)
5 kids + bad economy = small Christmas.... Even with 2 incomes. I heard of something new this year and here's my plan. 1. Something they want. 2. Something they need. 3. Something to wear. 4. Something to read. 5. Something just because I wanted them to have it. Mine are old enough to know about Santa, but the #1 will be the "Santa gift". Probably around $125 with a total of $200 per kid. That's still a grand more than I have at the moment! Good luck to both of us!
This is a tough one for me. My daughter was born 2 days after Christmas and will be 3 in December. Her first birthday, we didn't buy her a thing for her birthday or Christmas. Call us bad parents, but honestly, she made out like a rat (we DID fork over a ton of cash for her 1st party, though). Last year, we bought her clothes. A few outfits to open for each occasion. I don't think we'll ever set a "limit" on something like that, but we're not the "go-all out and overboard" type of people either.
Eventually, she'll get screwed out of one or the other (one gift for both occasions). So until then, we'll just wing it, but we don't shell out a ton. We leave that up to her grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc.
PS
Nice to see the comments are back on...for now :)
This year money so tight I'm thinking two gifts each. We never buy each other gifts and I'll make anything else we give. So don't feel bad. I'm thinking of skipping the tree because I don't want to see four presents under it. Instead we plan on going to the beach christmas morning so the day won't be about unwrapping presents. So don't fell bad!
Baby's first christmas this year...she will be excited enough with an empty box wrapped in flashy paper :)
I totally set a limit for the kids. Last Chirstmas with 4 kids was painful. I need to do a better job this year. Really, I do. I suck at being a on budget.
I more set a number of gifts limit - and it's always 3. Baby jesus got gold, frankensense and mhyrr (spelling schmelling), so the girls get three. And I'm totally okay with them being 3 smaller things. Honestly, they're so IN LOVE with Littest Petshops and WEbinz that I'll probably get one each of those, and then a sweatshirt or something. Probably topping out at about $50 a kid.
the most hilarious advice I've heard from an MSN Financial Guru ~ 4 retired women, all on teeny tiny incomes. His solution to their woes? Move ALL FOUR into ONE trailer home, brown bag it, and make their own coffe.....that would so STINK.
Christmas is always tight for us. Kids do NOT CARE what they get when they're little, but yeah, that Mommy guilt is a biter.
We're poor too. To be honest, we didn't buy our 3 year old anything for his birthday or for Christmas the last couple of years. He got so much stuff from other people he didn't know the difference. And, really? Never underestimate the value of a cardboard box or some other weird odd and end that costs a dollar and provides hours of fun. You know the deal!
I try to spend 100$ per kid. We have been trying to make Christmas about Christ. What I remember about holidays, as a sibling of 10 others, is the time we spent together. The preparing dinner, eating dinner and playing outside with everyone. Now that I have neices/nephews the same age as my kids they look forward to seeing their cousins more then gifts. Every year they have to go to church first, have our christmas cassorole and then open presents! Last year we skipped the presents drove to my mom's 1.5 hours away and opened presents when we got home after 8pm. The kids, believe it or not, didn't wine or beg to go home! I know it's shocking!
Breastfeeding saves money! I always made my husband get up w/ the kid, change the diaper then plop her in bed with me. Turn, turn, feed, everyone falls back to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn't learn this until the second kido!
Money sucks!
If for some reason you can't BF (and I hope that's not the case b/c free is always better) the Walmart brand formula ROCKS. Seriously, best stuff ever and not just b/c it's cheap. And they send you coupons/free samples!
As for cutting corners. We cut our dish bill in half and signed up for Netflix for $10/month.
DH eats a 6in sub from subway on the days he doesn't pack leftovers.
I crockpot meals and freeze the leftovers for later or for lunches.
When I plan meals ahead, I save a ton on the groceries (been slacking lately though!)
Christmas...I'm not good with a budget. I buy the "big" thing and then go from there. We didn't have money growing up, at all, but there were always tons of gifts under the tree Christmas morning. Some probably came from the dollar store or goodwill, but we didn't know/care. I have a hard time breaking that, I feel like the tree needs to be filled with presents. But that doesn't mean I go broke doing it. Aiden loves his $1 spot coloring book and $2 puzzle as much as he loves the big stuff.
With my son & daughter-in-law and their two kids living with us (in addition to our other two sons) we are having a real hard candy Christmas. I'm trying to convince my son & DIL that a 2 year old and 1 year old don't need a big bag of toys. Plus, there are so many relatives that if they get one toy from each, they'll have more toys than we can hold.
Jaci--for birthdays, we figure their party is the gift. Esp. with single income and four kids--the pinata and stuffing ALONE maxes us out!
Christmas, we give each one three gifts, too . . . just like Baby Jesus received. We try to not spend more than $50-$75 on each of them. Amazingly, a year later, they can remember all three gifts they received from us, even the small ones. That makes me happy.
One more thing . . . http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ Super cool site recommending buying one less gift this year, among other things . . . I just heard about it, but am officially inspired. :)
I have to admit that I usually get VERY carried away with Christmas. This year we just can't do it. We are cutting back on who we buy presents for and how much we spend on them. Our focus is our son. We are not buying presents for all the extended family that we see 3 times a year. I honestly have no idea what we normally spend on our son...this year we set a budget of $200 - everything adds up so fast and then it doesn't look like anything once we split out the gifts from Santa...I don't want "Santa" to get all the credit for the cool things!
Not having extra money really bites!
I harldy get my son anything. I let the grandparents handle it. He really doesn't care...that's they way it's always been so he's used to it.
My husband and I have four girls, two his, two mine. My two are married. There are now three granddaughters. I am the Scrooge AKA budget queen, he is the BIG SPENDER. Money is the ONLY thing we fight about!!!! I get an ulcer over our debt. He doesn't give a rip. Anyway, I set (note I said "I") the budget at $100.00 per adult child which includes the two spouses and the same for the grandkids. SUPER OUCH!!!! That is $900.00 just for kids and grandkids. Every year we plan and shop and he ALWAYS says "We need to get more, that is not enough presents". I say "ARE YOU %#(@&#)#in' ME????? We don't OWE them that, we don't OWE them more. Do you know how many teeth I have to clean to pay for this crap???? My arms and hands HURT!!!! All. The. Time.
So there is my sad tail. I feel your pain. Yes, we have big debt. Yes, it irritates the heck out of me. And, yes, I know I can't change my man who I LOVE dearly. I want to save for retirement. I want to retire someday. I am 53.
I also want to remodel my 50 year old kitchen. Dream on, Brenda, dream on.
PS: We make good money, so I'm not complaining about that. But, one can get in debt at ANY income level. Sigh.
Jaci - assuming you're current on your cards, call them up and ask them to reduce the interest rate. That will help some. The min pay guidelines requiring 1% of principal + finance charges + late fees has made a difference, and now some companies are going above that. BUT if you can reduce the APR, that will help.
And the home phone? Totally get rid of it. We haven't had one in six years and don't miss it a bit. It's such an easy save -- convince Kevin if you can! Ditto on the cable since you can watch anything you want online a day or two after it airs live. and the commercials are less annoying!
As for Christmas, we do a three present rule. Jesus got three presents, so that's all the wee ones get. And they're small things. They could care less. It is NOT about the money, and I don't want them to start now. Good luck with the bargain shopping.
Money is horrible, especially when it seems like everyone else has it (even if they don't).
Three presents. Cost isn't a huge concern, but I try to not go over $100 for all three and usually stay way below that. I did this after I witnessed my niece (one year) and nephew (another year) refuse to open any more gifts. WHAT??
For everyone else, I usually have to go with gift cards, but that's hard because they have a monetary value. I get them by stashing $15-20 every paycheck in a savings account that doesn't get touched because my husband does not have access.
I made my husband give up cable. Too expensive. With the conversion to digital, we get like 20 stations (in the country) and it's wonderful. Too see what channels you would get, go to antennaweb.org. So you have to have an antenna, if you are in the city, you don't need a honking huge one like we have and that would be good.
As for the phone, my hubby refuses to let go of the land line. We lowered the minutes on our cells and reduced the "extras" on the land line to save money.
We put our home and car insurance with one provider and got a discount.
I mostly shop for new at Ross, Marshall's, Big Lots, Target. I also look for thinks on CraigsList. It's amazing what is out there that is still in nice condition and a steal.
I nursed for a year and made my own baby food. Both are really easy to do.
Good luck to you. It can be sufficating to not have the $$ you want for the things you need. I spent many years there and only recently have felt like we can pay our bills and I can spend $$ on other things we need. It's refreshing but I still worry that we will be back in that situation in a heartbeat.
God provides and in all those years, there were times when I really felt like it was going to take a miracle, there always was one. I don't know how to explain that but it just works out.
Good luck to you.
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