(Yet another "mom thing" that I suck at.)
After several years of avoiding it (and hoping for a 25 pound weight loss) I bit the bullet and went for it. Yes, I know I'm 4 months pregnant and at that gawd-awful stage where I don't look pregnant but instead look f-f-f-f-fat. I figured a 4 year old would sufficiently cover my lovely lady lumps. And rolls. And non-maternity sweater stretched to the max and screaming in protest.
But I digress.
I chose Wal-Mart because...um...it's cheap. And? Our last family portrait from Sears had us all sprawled on the floor in some sort of pseudo wrestling match that was quite puzzling.
Clearly, I won and Elizabeth tapped it out.I just wanted a normal family picture. You know, one where everyone sits upright and smiles. It doesn't take much skill to seat people on chairs, so it was off to Wal-Mart - land of stepped up cashiers pretending to be photographers.
I'm anal about professional pictures. I want the color schemes to be just "so" because I'm going to stare at it everyday for the next couple years. (See above picture where everyone is in beige.) This year I went a little crazy and used "pastels".
I know. DARING.
After the world's most boring and predictable photo shoot at PictureMe! (eyeroll) Kevin and I stood with a squirming 4 year old for 20 minutes while the "photographer" (ahem) played around with gay photo enhancements (sepia anyone?) and tried to turn lame, ordinary photos into objet d'art (and failing utterly). When I asked her to please skip it, she said, "Sorry, I have to show you everything," and continued dazzling with her basic photoshop skilz.
I wanted to stab her in the eye.
Anyway. There wasn't one photo that I was impressed with. Kevin looked squinty, I had double chins, E's hair wasn't lying quite right...every picture had something jacked up. THEN (and only then) the girl (sorry, I can't call her a photographer anymore) talked prices. For a mere $389...
.....
WTF?!?!? THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-NINE DOLLARS!!! I'm sorry...did I stumble into a real photographer's studio? I could have sworn I was standing in Wal-Mart's hole-in-the-wall and listening to people swiping their EBT food stamp cards behind me...
I laughed in the girl's face. Then Kevin said, "What's your cheapest package? We're not spending hundreds of dollars today so let's skip all the crap."
$79.
Kevin snorted. I rolled my eyes and said, "Well take the $7 special and that's it." My choices for THAT package? Two of the shittiest pictures taken. Hmmm...double chins on me, or Kevin looking stoned?
Of course I chose stoned. (Double chins is NOT an option.)
18 comments:
Next time, go to Portrait Innovations. They use basic backdrops and YOU get to choose what photo becomes your package. Of course, they try to upsell you too but it's really not that bad. For $9.95 you get a LOT of photos of the one photo you like the best. Then each additional pose is $30(?) for three sheets. Once you hit the magic number, you get a cd of all the photos. But trust me, the one pose is all you need of the family, right?
The other cool part, you have them in 45 minutes, enough time to go grab a bite to eat or run another errand.
The only thing bad is that they like to get you to smile and my son likes calm, they are not calm and I have to tell them to lay off the loud, clangy, name calling stuff.
Oh my God. That is awful! We've had several photo sessions with our son at Kiddie Kandids, which is the photo place located at Babies R Us. They take good pictures and have tons of packages, and a really good deal for a lot of pictures, and you can do cute collages and stuff, the photos are ready in an hour, and since they're in a kids place, they're great at making the kid smile. Our second shoot there, our kid cried between every shot, but you would NEVER know from the pictures.
Aw, that sucks. I cant believe Walmart even bothers to mention anything over $40. It's like you said, they're not 'real' photographers lol.
The last time anyone of us took family photos we went to a place called The Picture People. Not too pricey & they specialize in taking kids photos.
And my options are limited to Walmart. Just in case you've missed my rants regarding Walmart, I HATE THEM! HATE THEM! HATE THEM! And yet, I can't leave them alone. Kind of like really bad crack or facebook...
Last picture of my toddler was at Sears. She insisted on taking artistic pictures and kept explaining I want a straight close up of his face to match the older kids' school pictures. She wasted a precious hour and half by taking pictures I would never buy then showing me pictures on crappy photoshopish software.
End result: One 8 x 10 = free with coupon plus one sheet of wallets for family. Her cut? Being generous 10%, that makes it - 40 cents for her.
Moral of the story - LISTEN to the mother. She knows what she is doing. THINK about what the mother is saying. i.e., "I have three school age children with a black background. I want the same boring background and pose. That's all. Stop taking pictures. Sepia won't go with the other pictures. Stop enhancing. I mean it. STOP!
And I'm not even hormonal and pregnant. Although I haven't ruled out pre-menopause.
If you have one in your area - definitely try Portrait Innovations - love them. Just make the very first appointment of the day - otherwise....it will be one long appointment.
Kiddie Kandids for us...for the ONE time I've actually gotten K's picture taken "professionally". They suckered me in by offering a free 8x10 and then they made a bunch of money off of me because I got to see "professional" portraits of my baybee.
Have yet to have a family photo taken.
Let me share with you the lesson that I have painfully learned. Skip studios altogether! Go on Craigslist and find an amateur photographer who is building a portfolio, and will photograph your family in the natural setting that you choose! Often, they have links to a website, Facebook page or blog where you can see their work and decide if they're right for you. Family pictures are so much better and so much cheaper. I just paid $75 for two hours of time and a CD of all the pictures. I found another photographer for my brother and his family in their hometown, and got them their own session and CD as a Xmas gift. So I'm helping new photographers' careers and I'm saving us money. Win win.
I love your post . I laughed, remembering how I used to leave Sears in tears.
We used them last year because I was in a hurry... We showed up for our 10AM appointment and didn't get our pictures taken until 1PM. I was miffed. They didn't turn out too bad, but they were pretty Lamey Whinehouse compared to others I've seen.
I won't go back. Recently a good friend of mine picked up photography as a hobby and she did our pictures yesterday (she also took all the pics in my header). I'm waiting to see them, but I'm certain there's at least ONE we can morph into a Christmas card.
Bottom line: The only good thing about Wal-Mart is that website "people of wal-mart". Just sayin'...
For mother's day, my mother wanted to get HER mother a picture with all of the grand and great grand children.
So, since my mother had to work, I drug myself and my two children to meet the other 15 cousins at the Picture Me! hole in the wall.
45 minutes of screaming children and squeezing as close together as possible because the stupid room wasn't big enough to hold everyone, the "photographer" had taken three poses. Seriously.
I stopped her. Told her we were looking at what she had taken and that was it. If there wasn't a good one we would find something else for our dear sweet grandmother.
Onto the lame photoshopping skills where she tried her best to convince me that what she was doing would take ten years off of me. Being the 24 year old that I am, I made smart ass comments. She added a "soft focus" and it made everything all blurry. She told me it was because human eyes can't see a true focus. I told her to print out the plain jane picture and got out of there as fast as possible!
From now on we will only use Portrait Innovations! I love them!
I just found your blog (through Mckmama's) and I had to die laughing when I was reading all of your posts! (at least the first 4 LOL). THANK YOU for being so honest! I have to agree, Kiddie Kandids is the way to go if you have tons of money to spend. (Which I don't, I'm more of a Walmart kinda mom, but the Walmart pictures are always turn out crappy for us too) But I hope that you get some good family pics soon :)
I am done with studios and school pictures! School pictures are the worst though, the packages suck and I end up spending a fortune to get what extended family wants. Not to mention, the kids always look completely dorky!
My solution? A guy at church is an amateur photographer. He's done family portraits and most recently took the kids "school" photos. They turned out great! And I can get exactly how many and the right sizes much cheaper. And it helps that he gives us a discount in exchange for computer repair/support!
Can't wait to see the Walmart pics!
We just recently went in to get photos done. I envy my friends who have these amazing pictures of themselves (all in coordinating clothing standing in the sand dunes of some beautiful beach the entire family looking glamorous). First my husband cops out and decides he's too busy to get the family picture done, so I go alone with 3 children. Did I mention I'm 5 months pregnant? We opted for JCPenny's. Came before the store opened so that I could get quality time with the photographer. It was probably the lamest studio session we've done. We're so broke that the kids get one picture done a year. All have fall birthdays, so wham, let's get them all done in one sititng. I had to suggest to the photographer how to take the pictures. Did I mention my daughter fell the night before and busted her lip. My 1 year old will not smile no matter how much you ask her to or wave a stupid feather in her face. Could the photographer just take a nice serious shot of her, NO. I can't believe I saved $80 bucks to get crappy pictures. What a waste. I so empathize with you.
So I went to Portrait Innovations last week to get my girls pictures taken. The photographer pulled everything up and said, "you can have all of this for $527." What? My husband would divorce me then murder me for spending that much on pictures!
This was absolutely hysterical! I read your entry to my husband and we couldn't stop laughing. We had the same experience today at our Picture Me studio (I was searching the net to see if I was the only one who thought it was completely ridiculous). We were there for over two hours (mostly spent waiting and at the end of which our toddler and baby were extremely cranky) and left with the $7 package of a shitty picture.
Next time... don't go to walmart for your photos... or any chain store for that matter. They train their photographers to have to talk all the hype to try to get you to buy everything... Photography equipment is very expensive, especially on that scale. Next time try to find a local photographer or a student.... they will offer you better quality for A LOT less
While I can sympathize with you on some points, you honestly are way off on others. I can't stand how people automatically assume it is an easy job to work for a photography company. I work for one and no, it is not Picture Me...but it frustrates me how people immediately write us off as being inexperienced, or bad photographers simply because we work for a chain. And as far as you thinking it's not that hard to just sit people on some chairs and snap a few photos, there is more to it than just that. If you were the one behind the camera you'd realize it isn't always so simple. And yes...it's lame, but we are required to try to sell packages and get that big sale, just like we are required to take a certain amount of photos/poses, so it's not worth being rude to the employees. Remember, we are just trying to do our jobs and unfortunately, that is part of the job.
I don't know why I'm bothering to post really since I just stumbled across this page, I guess I just want someone to hear my side for once since I can't say this at work. In all of my shoots, I honestly try to get the best photos I can, every time. And I have been with my company for close to 2 years. I'll freely admit I don't always like my job because it is not always easy to put on a nice face when people are being rude to you...(especially during Christmas, ugh) but it honestly makes it worthwhile when the photoshoot is good and I have given people lifelong memories and photos that will be handed down generations. Anyway, I've rambled long enough, just wanted to give some perspective from someone who is behind the camera.
I am the mother of a 6 month old and just found your blog. It really brings a smile to my day. I can relate to a lot of what you discuss on your blog. Good luck with your little ones!
-Lawren
I took all my grandchildren to Picture Me about a year ago and the b*$&@ of a "photographer" made a comment to her friend that different races should not mix because you end up with kids of all colors and the pictures suck. She didn't want me to hear her, but I did and when I got done complaining to the President of the company we were offered a free shoot with pictures every year for life. Worth it?? NO! I told him to shove it and we will never be going back. I also found a great guy on Craigslist and he took beautiful pictures of my multi-racial babies!!
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