Squeeee!
At my last OBGYN visit, my doctor had a labor hangover* and totally sleepwalked through my appointment. He found the heartbeat, glanced at my chart, and shoved me out the door while I mumbled, "Wait, what about the ultrasound? Shouldn't you schedule that?!?"
(I only mumble because hello?!? Doctors are GODS and you don't question them.)
Like a turd, he scheduled me for January 4th and I'm pissed. I really wanted to know before Christmas, and since other women weeks behind me already have lovely 3D ultrasounds of their baby's private bits posted on Facebook, I'm hating life. (And my crappy insurance that only provides for one, grainy ghetto ultrasound unless, I don't know, your ovary twists off and you really need another one.)
He also wrote my EDD as 5-18-10, because he was drunk. Or sleep deprived. Or really couldn't wait to eat the Chinese take-out his wife just brought him.
Have I told you about my doctor? No? Well, pull up a chair.
He's a little, tiny, foreign man. I'm not quite sure where he's from, and I don't want to act like a total redneck and and lean in close saying, "Say, boy, where all you FRUM, anyway?" That seems a little rude.
Anyway...back to his, um, tiny-ness. He's about 5'2. Picture this:
coming into you delivery room. Seriously, the nurse referred to his scrubs as his "little outfit".
That's just wrong.
Also? I can't understand his accent. It's like we're on a 10 second delay when we talk. He says something, I smile and nod, then 10 seconds later I scream, "Oh, THAT'S what you said!"
The worst conversation was when he tried to ask me if I had a cat. I could not figure out what the hell he was trying to say, and he would NOT take the smiling nod for an answer. He kept saying, "Cat. Kitty cat. KITTY CAT. KITTY----CAT."
Finally, he scrunched his tiny hands into claws and said, "Kitty cat! Meow!"
I think we both died a little that day.
*Meaning, he was up until God knows when the night before delivering a baby because HE'S A LONER. Or, no one else wants to work with him.
14 comments:
Love it! I found your blog from your guest-spot on Jennepper's blog. You are hilarious!
My OBGYN is a loner too, but I absolutely adore him! At my last appointment, he had to leave to deliver a baby halfway through my exam. He said he'd be back to finish in 20 minutes (hospital is across the street). And he was! It was hilarious!
The kitty cat story reminds me of the scene in the movie 9 months. Robin Williams plays the OBGYN and asks her if she has a pussy! He ends up putting his hands up like claws and meowing at her. Too funny!
Yep, I have a Korean obgyn..I think. I haven't asked either and he has been my doctor for 10 years. I still can't understand him. He is funny though and his accent makes him even funnier.
Yep, I have a Korean obgyn..I think. I haven't asked either and he has been my doctor for 10 years. I still can't understand him. He is funny though and his accent makes him even funnier.
I shudder to think of what my first, yes I said VERY FREAKIN FIRST appointment will be like. See, after waiting for fruckin ever to qualify for what turns out to be the worlds most worthless insurance, they directed me to a list of doctors that contained approximately 4 names, 3 of which are in the ghetto. The last one... Let me pull up the bio for ya:
Services
Bladder
Cancer Screening
Colposcopy
Counseling
C-Section
Hysterectomy
Laparoscopic Surgery
Massage
Skin
Ultrasounds
Vasectomies
However, if they will throw in a skin treatment, and massage during my ultrasound, fer damn sakes I am SOLD! I however feel very skeptical considering they take said insurance. Wish me luck, they couldnt see me until this coming friday, I will be 13 weeks, thanks for skipping my whole first trimester! ha!
omgosh! I am DYING over the kitty cat "MEOW" thing. Dying.
Ohhh this sounds like it's going to be a fun labor for ya ;) Do you like the doctor/respect him?
And more fun... here's my question no pregnancy (that I thankfully didn't come up with until after giving birth both times): you're "halfway" through at 20 weeks. But since you generally don't know until 4 weeks or more, is that REALLY halfway?
I only get the grainy ultrasounds too. I've thought about going to one of those ultrasound "centers" for the 3D or 4D ones but something seems so "drive through" about them. Anyway I found out the gender (boy) at 19 weeks but because of the graininess I thought there might still be a chance that it's a girl...I suppose I have my high-risk status to thank for getting a confirmation on the boy thing today (even I could make it out this time).
Anyway, sorry to ramble on so much...your doctor sounds v v entertaining! Which frankly I think is a plus when you're trying to push out a baby.
Hahahahahahaha! MEOW!!!!
Congrats on making it halfway, I've got one more week to go until I'm 20 weeks. I'm sorry they didn't schedule your ultrasound until January. That sucks! Hopefully the time will go by fast.
oh girl; Im right there with you. Just be glad you hit the half way mark. That's great! I really wanted to know before Christmas, but I too must wait! I've kinda had the same feelings at my apts; "feeling rushed". Whats the deal?!
OMG, this made me laugh out LOUD, and I so needed that. Your OB reminds me of the little indian man who removed my gallbladder a few weeks ago. We have family friends from India, so I KIND of caught a lot of what he was saying, but my husband was TOTALLY LOST, like totally. Hilarious.
Found your blog through "Jenepper"..OMG, this had me laughing like a hyena. I've got my own blog as well, if you wanna check it out(www.squishygirl.com). You SO have my sense of humor.
You had me at "little outfit".
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