Anyway...Kevin laughs at that scene because Johnny Depp pulls out a gun and Orlando is all like, "You cheated!" and Johnny goes, "Pirate."
(He leaves off the obvious "Duh.")
"Pirate."
Only Kevin switched it around, and now says, "Pregnant," whenever I complain about my body.
Me: GAWD. I gained 11 pounds so far! I freaking hate this!
Kevin: Pregnant.
Kevin: Well, we're both out of shape.
Me: *B.A. Baracus What-you-talkin'-bout-fool? stare*
Kevin: Oh, and...PREGNANT.
21 weeks and I'm not feeling lots of baby kicks. I wonder if I have an anterior placenta? Notice I say "wonder" because Dr. Loompa scheduled the ultrasound weeks later than he should have because he was distracted by the smell of China Palace, and I have no clue what's really going on with my baby.
I might as well be going to see these women.
I'd be no worse off. And maybe they could predict the sex by reading apple peels or holding my wedding ring over my stomach tied to a string.
And? They don't even know about Chinese food.
Top THAT Dr. Loompa. Top that.
*It's 4 days before Christmas and I got nothing, internets. This post is brought to you by the letter P and weird searches on Google Images. Also? Don't search for "Birth painting" unless you want to see some jacked up stuff. And? Lots of men dress up like Captain Jack Sparrow and put their pictures online trying to look sexy. I should have clicked on them to see if any of them went to a match.com profile. Wouldn't that be freaking hilarious? I bet one of them does. Although, I guess that's a better profile pic than someone dressed as a Furry...but only by comparision. Then again, these Jack Sparrow closet freaks might be posting NORMAL profile pics on match.com. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't ever agree to a blind date at Red Lobster, because YOU NEVER KNOW.
10 comments:
LMAO at your disclaimer!!!!
hehehehe...
And I will ignore the Match.com slamming in this post. Some normal people *ahem* do meet on Match.com, ya know. Plus, Mark looks sexy dressed as Cap Sparrow!
;)
I tired to keep reading, but after the first paragraph all I could think of was Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Thank you. BTW, like Bella choosing between Edward and Jacob (it would always be Edward), for me, it will ALWAYS be Johnny Depp. :)
always a laugh!
With my second pregnancy I didn't feel much kicking, more squirming, and it ended up being twins. :-D Maybe the same for you tee hee.
P.S. I also didn't show as big until my 5th month and then it was a baby tummy explosion!
I barely felt kicks with either of the wee ones... I wonder if that's why.
Much as your post made me giggle, I LOVED the disclaimer. Too perfect :)
You are hilarious...I love your posts. Yes, this year had bit the weinie for you, but you are moving on and you are supported by many of us!!
Merry Christmas...and I drool for JD too...hot as a pirate...argh!
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Lucy
http://maternitymotherhood.net
Oh my God. Don't you KNOW that you can't tell a bunch of bloggers NOT to search something? It's like an instant way to make them search it. So, thanks for that. I'm 21 weeks on Saturday and not feeling much movement, but I didn't really start to feel my first until I was 23 weeks. Also, I choose Orlando Bloom. But I think he has to have long hair. And some kind of accent I think.
Bones and muscles become stronger so the arms and legs movement increases. The heart beat of the baby can be detected with the stethoscope.
A pregnancy week by week analysis is essential for an expecting mother to negate the risks or associated complications.
Post a Comment