(No, this isn't a post about anonymous comments and trolls. It's been beaten to death by millions of bloggers.)
I'm trying to decide if I want to drop anonymous from ME.
Most of us blog under our first names or (if we're creative) a pseudonym. Some bloggers break out nicknames for their children and are absolutely terrified to put anything too specific about their families on their blog. (Stars above! What about the crazy stalkers?!?!)
Me? Well, I fall somewhere at the open end of anonymity. I write under my real first name, I use real names when talking about family, and honestly? I doubt any psycho is drooling for my last name so he can plan an abduction with his rusted out cargo van. Face it. If someone really wanted to, they could figure out who I am with a creative Google search.
There's a huge plus side to opening up and saying, "This blog? Yeah, it's mine. I wrote it. Pretty awesome, huh?" I'm proud of my blog, and thrilled with my numbers and stats and subscribers. I want to sign my real name to it, and claim it as my own work.
Let's pretend that Parents magazine, or an agent, or a publisher (yeah, I know I'm reaching for the stars but bear with me) saw my blog and loved it. Let's pretend that they want to see more of my work. Who are they more likely to contact? Anonymous Jaci? (Who, by the way, still publishes on the Blogging 101 website blogspot.com? I need my own dot.com, but that's another subject...) Or a real, professional name?
A real name just looks more...credible. Besides, the bigger bloggers who have published books or local newspaper articles or give media interviews all use their names. My goal is to be a published writer--so dropping anonymous seems like an important step.
Then there is the downside: everyone will know who I am, including family, neighbors, the little old lady 2 pews behind me in church...
When real life acquaintances find out I blog and then mention it to me, it always catches me off guard. I do separate Jaci from "The Mad Housewife", and it usually causes me a few seconds of panic wondering, "Oh God! I wonder what they think of me?!?" By blogging under my real name, I'm saying, "Hello world! Read me AND JUDGE ME if ye dare! Oh, you too, Grandma. Sorry about the time I said "fuck"."
I also have to watch what I say--or be damn sure I'm willing to back every word and accept the consequences. I won't be able to vent about people (which honestly? is a pretty shitty to do anyway) and any stance I take can be thrown back in my face and held against me by real life people. *Eeek!* Am I ready for that? Am I strong enough for real life criticism?
What do you think about blogging under your real name? Would you ever do it?
23 comments:
I blog under my real name as a tool to keep in touch with my out of state family. It can make blogging a bit boring because I have to keep everything PG and nice-ish. Boo.
I use a nickname. I used first names when I started my blog and at the time, um, nobody was reading it. I started it just for me. I needed a place to vent. Yea, someone could stumble upon it...but I wasn't commenting on other blogs and I wasn't networking using my blog. It was my therapy.
Now, it's still for me, but I have a few readers. Most I know, some I don't. My family does not know about it. My best friend who sometimes drives me crazy, does not know about it. I'm keeping it that way for now...and so, everyone has a NN. I don't want to censor myself there.
I know crazy people can easily google but I'd rather make them work for the info rather then just giving it to them. Plus, I have a 7 year old. At some point he's going to be at school and may google his name. I don't want my blog coming up. There are things he just doesn't want to know about :)
I continuously struggle with this.
Obviously, I blog under a "pen name." & I'm pretty successful at it. I've had people I know outside the interwebs find me & they're all, "OH HEAVENS. You're Blair! No way!" & it's a small smile & yeah, I am and sure, you can follow it.
But like you, I have greater aspirations. That include using my real name.
I'm torn. Do I break the "Santa Clause" effect & out my real name? Is there really someone insane enough to try & snatch my kid in the middle of the night? But more importantly, do I really, really want to open it up to everyone saying THIS IS ME. Just like you said. This is me in all my flaws, all my imperfections, all my insanity & jealousy & triumphs, out there with my name stamped on it.
I don't know.
I have used a pseudonym for myself and my husband because I don't want to feel like I need to censor myself. That said, I write so that if someone I knew found my blog they may be shocked, but not offended by things I write about other people on there.
I blog with my real name and use most of my friends real names...but I don't have kids yet, so I suppose my feelings have the potential to change a wee bit...
I am careful about some things though. Like the post I wrote today--the frenemy I'm talking about goes to church with me (a detail I didn't share on the blog) and since I know for a fact that people from my church regularly read my blog I was very vague about details.
I use my real name. I have not actually published my last name but it wouldn't take a genius to figure it out.
I really don't understand why ppl use all those silly nicknames, its like you said if someone really wanted to they would find you.
My blog is known to many, many of my real life friends and I do have to censor what I up out there from time to time but the truth is that I am proud of what I write and I want people to read it. I don't really care about what ppl think of me.
This is probably going to all change when I write and publish my vibrator story. ;)
I use my real name and my last name is in my blog title...so no hiding here. I didn't really think about it when I started out, but whatever. :)
...and seriously - if someone you know stumbled on this blog, don't you think they'd know it was you with or without your last name? How many "Jaci"'s do you think are out there. Who have the same exact things going on in their lives as you do...? Just sayin' ... You're probably less anonymous than you think :)
Feisty reporting here. I am married to a man I call Spaghetti and my children are Bagel and Weaky.
I just recently droped the anonymous names for my pets, even though Thing 1 and Thing 2 for the cats, and Ding and Dog for the dogs was cute.
I agree. It's a bitch making up names for EVERYONE I blog about.
I once had a blog, that was ALL real names, me included. And I was googled by a psycho slut that my cousin kept breeding with. AND I just so happened to be angry and vent one day about how the lucky bastard should be dead, seeings that he's been in gangs, drive by's, and also survived a horrible car accident, driving drunk killing the innocent driver. AND yet still walks the earth free.
SO she got all bizarre, stalked and left mean comments, I SHOULD have just deleted her comments, but she got the best of me, and her trolling won. I did posts just to piss her off more.
End of story, I had to remake my blog, start up Spaghetti and Bagels site, and go anonymous.
Sure I would like to go a bit more public. I would like to let Google search me. But my guard is still up a bit. Some of my close real friends read me, but I like the internet bloggers more anyway.
And to add, it bugs me that I switched emails, so it looks as if I've been blogging only 15 months, when it's been 23 months. Maybe in a few years the difference won't matter as much.
So I guess you could drop it. But I don't mind just knowing you as Jaci the Raving Mad Housewife you are.
As for me and my blog, we shall stay hidden.
Queen of Feisty
I don't use my husband's real name and I keep our last name and city we live in out of the blog because of his job. Sissy is technically a nickname but it's one I go by in real life. My boy's names are their real names. Like everyone, I think if someone wants to find out who I really am, they will.
Have I told you that I'm so glad you are back in full force? Cuz I am :)
I'm blogging with my real name. That's how Redbook found me, and that's how I've got a possible cool opportunity brewing. If you're serious, Jaci, then you probably should.
When I started for Redbook, the editor there read my blog beginning to end, and gave me suggestions to make my blog more Friends and Family friendly. I removed some rants. I removed some posts altogether. Some of the things I left? Royally pissed my family off. I had to deal with it. It's fine now. It was a temporary bump.
You just need to realize that putting your name on this blog means that you are basically printing your blog out and sitting the pages in front of everyone you know. Can you deal with what you've said about them? If not, remove it.
I won't.
I'm still job searching and the field I'm looking in wouldn't be too keen on a blog that is about nothing.
Some friends know about it, but I don't think they visit it. I don't ask, they don't mention it.
My sisters read the blog and that is enough people IRL I want to know.
Hi Jaci,
I just read your guest blog post at Maybe if You Just Relax (boy did that start a firestorm of controversy!). Anyway, I've read a few of your posts on this blog and I just wanted to say that I appreciate your wit and candor about parenthood, esp. SAH parenthood. Sometimes it's not always sunshine and roses and it's nice to know I'm not the only person who feels that way.
I have a bone to pick with you though! I can't believe you're feeling down about gaining 11 lbs. by 23 weeks. I've gained 10 lb. by 20, and I was feeling pretty good about that, lol. Anyway, I hope you keep writing so I can keep reading :)
I'm trying to make that decision myself. I am coming back to blogging after a long hiatus and am not sure if I want to keep with the "anonymous" or not. I actually just posted a pic of one of my kiddies and will probably delete it in the middle of the night when I have a freak out about it. My blog has been so personal...I'm not sure if I can handle "being found." I am considering starting a new blog...less personal about things like marital troubles and a crappy sex life and more of something that wouldn't mortify me if my name was attached...not sure what I'm going to do...
I blog under a pseudonym. I don't want certain people in my current life to have access to my thoughts. All my bloggy friends have access to my full name and life here in Scotland and they know exactly who I am. I suppose it's self-preservation of sorts. I moan about my work and the people I share my days with, so I'd rather they didn't find out about my blog! :D
Mostly it's because I don't want to censor myself. I want to be able to say whatever I wish and about whatever/whoever I wish. And I know that the people who know me in the "real world" would not understand.
Eventually I'm hoping to make a move towards blogging under my real name. Some day when I'm brave enough to show my real self in real life as well as in bloggyland.
xx
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I don't use my real name or my kids real names because the last thing I need is my ex reading my blog.
I started blogging under an obviously fake name just because I am paranoid and neurotic. But I do think you can have the best of both worlds if you want it. I just started a freelance writing gig three months ago that I landed thanks to my blog, so you never know!
I don't use my last name, but no one reads my blog anyway, other than a handful of my friends,and a couple cousins. I started my blog because my mom has multiple myeloma, and was going through treatment and then I had a whole set of issues myself...and it was just easier to keep everyone in the loop that way.
I think if I were to start a "real" blog...about a "real topic" I'd use my full name.
I get what you mean though...it's OUT there. You can't hide behind a nickname. You have to take responsiblity for any and everything you say.
I think it's very brave. Good for you.
I use my real name, real kids names, pictures. I started the blog for family and friends to keep up that weren't near us. If they don't like it, don't read it. And if I ever got worried I guess I could make it private. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people a lot more interesting than me out there to catch the stalking crazies interest!
great post. i've stuggled with this too. i'd love to come out someday, but I'm also too afraid of the judging from people in my every day life.
In the end, only you know what's best for you. Good luck with you decision.
I use my real name, but my blog is private, due to a psycho ex boyfriend. (I was public until he entered the world of the techies, contacted me via FB 4 times (!!) and still didn't get a clue. Restraining order about 12 years ago...don't wanna go that route with 2 children! BTW...love your blog! Found you through "Maybe If You Just Relax". Thought it was time to de-lurk and give you some comment love!!
I've had a few blogs and have been blogging under my real name since I was 12 or so (I'm now 23). It was a huge problem in high school, but as an adult, I've learned how to be real but not inappropriate with what I share online, and now people I know in real life are receptive.
My biggest issue is... my dad. It makes me a wee bit uncomfortable to know he follows me online - Once I visited my parents' house and his desktop image was a photo of me from my blog. For instance, I hint on a blog now that I'm trying to get pregnant, but that's something I'm slightly terrified to tell my family.
You're so right about stalkers. If someone wants to find you, they will. It's more likely someone would grab your kid on the street at random than obsess over them because you post some photos and their real name. There are much more interesting things on the Internet for pedophiles to get off to than a mom blog.
I blog under my real name and I've never really thought about it...I have thought when my child goes off to school that I might want to password protect my blog so that my child's peers can't read stories about his potty training!
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