Remember this post? The one where I talked about Heidi Klum's 9-months-pregnant-skin-tight Ursula costume? Back then I was *a little bit pregnant* and hiding my bloated tummy under a hoodie while sporting wild hair and glasses.
Now? I'm afraid I've hit the Pregnancy Delusion Stage.
I'm breaking out the skin tight maternity tops! I'm feeling hawt and sexy! I'm flat ironing my hair and putting on full eyeshadow! Even lip gloss! LOOK AT ME AND MY AWESOME CURVES!
Meanwhile, I'm snapping belly pic after belly pic wondering why I look so big on camera when CLEARLY the pregnant chic in the mirror is adooooorable. Why can't I capture this on film? (Yeah...that's the reason why I don't have a pic ready for this post yet.)
Pregnancy Delusion.
I wish I had maternity lingerie. No, no, hun, I don't want to actually have sex. I just want to go to sleep in a satin nightie because look at how cute I am!
Pregnancy Delusion.
I'm running my fingers over pre-knocked-up outfits and muttering, "Hmmm...I'll bet I could still pull this off..."
Pregnancy Delusion.
Why does this stage hit? I mean, I'm glad I'm not sitting around moaning, "Ugh, I'm so FAT. I hate my body!" but why this weird boost in self-esteem? Is this Mother Nature's way of keeping moms-to-be from jamming toothbrushes down their throats or turning pregorexic?
I'm terrified that my sense of reality is so warped that I'll sprawl across the bed purring, "You know you want me," thinking I look like this:
When I really look more like this:
The horror.
18 comments:
Hilarious! I know exactly where you are right now. I say just run with it because soon you will be in the third trimester where I am now being huge and knowing it, which isn't any fun for anyone at all.
Thanks for your comment re highlights -- I'm totally going for it! Your photo that you described is *exactly* what I want. Because hey, when you look good, you feel good.
Hahaha! Although that last picture made my eyes bleed a little. ;p
I remember having the same delusions while pg...and actually donning a pre-knocked up outfit and wearing until my hubs said, "you know your belly is hanging out of that thing."
Hahaha oh, yeah, what a fun stage! I'm nearing the end so I'm not feeling quite as 'hawt' as I used to. Embrace it ;)
I totally remember that stage. I was out of my mind. I'm sure you really do look hawt, though (this is me trying to be supportive since I don't really know...you.are.welcome).
OMG. Dying laughing. I've never been pregnant, so I can't relate. But I've filed this away for future reference under 'Things the Pregnancy Books Don't Tell You, But Jaci Will'.
OMG I was not prepared for that picture but that was HYSTERICAL. As far as the pregnancy delusion goes I say embrace it! I'll check back later for the pic. :)
I recall that stage with the last two, I was nice and young and could pull off certain things still... however this time around, i am older. I feel older. i feel old. I moved all the beds around and it kicked my ass last night, now I have to spend the day doing next to nothing because I am too sore to move. What the crap second trimester energy boost, where are you??? I say get on with your sexy self, (I think you are hawt anyway Jacs)
I'M BLIND!!!!!! No seriously, that last pictures was HILARIOUS!!!
I felt hawt my second pregnancy. Don't know what it was... glowing skin, LONG hair and nails, big boobs, and my stomach filled out the sag from the first pregnancy.
That.... and I was really horney all the time. Didn't see that in your post... hehe
Just enjoy your new found hawt and remember that it's all in the attitude girl!!
(Colleen)
This cracked me up! Right now I can't wait to be pregnant again so I can lose weight and feel good. Somehow I've forgotten the 26wks+ of morning sickness and that while I lost weight during pregnancy I also then gained 15kg or so after. Oh dear...
WOW! That last picture is really something.
That's an image that isn't going to leave my mind for some time. Yikes!
Okay, you look truly fabulous in that photo (not the one of Gisele...the one of YOU). So no delusions -- you ARE hawt! :)
No no no! Big pregnant women ARE gorgeous! Well, except at the VERY end when they look totally exhausted and puffy and they only fit into men's sweatpants and flip-flops, but even then they have a bedraggled charm.
Oh sure take down the rant that I now don't get to read. *sigh* I was looking forward to that, too ;)
And these pictures? Wow, I'm not sure which is worse. But I'd so rather have that esteem boost than the opposite. You look great! :)
I felt Hawt for about the five minutes after conception and then I felt like the chick in the second picture, still do sadly, eating Peanut Butter Crunch cereal for 9 months straight probably didn't help. If you feel hawt you should run with it.
I never had this delusion. I was stuck in the grim reality of "I gained sixty pounds and I'm only five feet tall". It was a dark time. And it was really unfair because I had a three pound baby, so it wasn't like I could even blame the weight gain on her. Le sigh.
-Stephanie @ Mama Still Wears Gucci
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! That was too funny.
Thanks for the laugh to start my day. That last picture will forever be burned into my mind!!
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