Annnd...that about sums up the end of month six. Any questions?
"Jaci, why don't you dump Dr. Loompa and find someone better?"
Good question, gentle reader. See, Dr. Loompa has been in practice for 43 years--and that's some serious mileage on his wee little boots. He delivered Elizabeth, and I can remember the relief I felt when he finally showed up just in time to coach me through six pushes, catch the baby, dig out the placenta, stich up the vag, and take a pic holding E (it's like a grinning Bilbo Baggins standing beside my bed--I'd post, but I looked drugged up--perhaps because I was). It's either him or the dreaded Birthing Conglomorate with their game of Midwife Roulette.
You see my dilema, internets.
"Jaci, what weird pregnancy symptoms do you have?"
Okay, so no one really asked this question. I'm just looking for some way to mention that I'm a Pregnant Klutz. The other night I slopped spoonfuls of spaghetti in that crack between my stove and the counter--repeatedly--and rather than adjusting whatever I was doing wrong like a normal human I kept slopping more sauce down the crack and yelling, "Damn it!" I spilled about 5 gallons of white French manicure nail polish all over myself and just sat there screaming, "Help me! HELP ME!" while I watched it inch closer to my dry-clean-only $80 red bedspread. And, while painting the trimwork in Elizabeth's bedroom, I kept getting the brush way too close to the carpet and just mumbling, "Oops," with every white blotch.
Accidents are one thing...but the 30 second pregnancy delay makes me feel like...I don't know...
6 comments:
I hear what you're saying about the doctor showing up in the last few minutes and getting all the glory! I think this time, I'm going to make a point to take a picture of the nurses. They really do much more for you during the hospital stay than the doc does.
Instead of clumsy, I've been spacey. I continually forget to turn when I'm driving and drive right past wherever I was supposed to be going. It's becoming the running joke with my family. "Ah, Mommy forgot to turn again!" That and I don't realize how big my belly is and try to fit through spaces that won't work anymore. Before, I would just mush my fat and squeeze through, but that doesn't work so well when the belly isn't squishy anymore. :P
I wish my appetite had disappeared. Mine has exploded all of a sudden. :/ Not good.
Here's to blissful, comfortable sleep for ya! :)
Oh wow...this post is almost too scarily close to my recent post...
http://lordsfamilyfun.blogspot.com/2010/01/did-you-stuff.html
Alls I can say is I HEAR YA...!!! Okay, so maybe not about the doctor thing, but everything else...UGH!!!
Kevin (my kevin... hahaha) feels like he cant leave me alone anymore, after we couldnt find the home phone, and my eldest ratted me out that she saw me put it in the fridge. She was thisfreakinclose to getting in trouble for lying, when hubs found it. In the fridge. I just cant be trusted with anything anymore... whoops. I feel ya.
you made me laugh out loud with the sauce dumping comment. My husband gets on me all the time because I am sloppy and never adjust things, even when I dump loads of food between the crack in my oven and counter.. I just kinda watch it go down and think "crap, that sucks." It really pisses him off and I don't care... but I am not pregnant, so what's my excuse?
Oh the great pregnancy brain. I am still waiting for mine to return to normal.
Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!
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