Since I can only fit into one pair of maternity pants (stretchy jeans with the belly panel that covers everything up to the armpits) I had to bite the big one and go back to Motherhood Maternity.
*shudder*
The saleswomen at Motherhood will not leave me alone. As soon as my feet waddle through the door, they are all over me like hemorrhoids.
"Hi! Have you been here before?" (Said while I'm wearing the same shirt hanging off a rack two feet away.) "Do you know how our pants work?" (I grabbed a handful of sagging fabric off my ass and pulled while saying, "Yep, they stretch!") "What are you looking for today?"
Hmmm...how about a pair of clearance black pants for around $10? I've got two more months to struggle through, and the thought of blowing $60 on maternity pants makes me enraged. I'd rather save that money and blow it on a postpartum shopping spree at Ann Taylor--not tacky, overpriced stretch fabric that will be sitting in garbage bags by mid-May.
I smiled real wide and said, "Clearance pants!" totally confident that the word "clearance" would send the woman scurrying back behind the register to gossip with everyone about what a pathetic tight wad I was...but NO! All this one heard was "pants" as she grabbed handfuls of full-priced pants and jammed them into a fitting room.
I ignored her and waddled back to the clearance racks and started digging. Within one minute, she was back waving pamphlets about their Future Trust College Savings Credit Card in my face and blathering on about how wonderful it was to shop AND save money for my baby's college! SQUEE! The only thing that shut her up was when I said, "Look, we're struggling to pay off our student loans right now. This kid is on it's own, alright? I'm not interested." *evil pregnant glare of death*
I'm so glad I've hit the 3rd-Trimester-You-Know-What?-You-Piss-Me-Off-And-I'm-Going-To-Tell-You-All-About-It stage. I wish I had it back when the dirty old man came into my office. Ah, well. No use longing for what might have been.
I managed to shake the hemorrhoid loose and find a pair of black pants for $20 (Boo! You suck Motherhood!) so I'm sure you're all pleased to know that I now have TWO pairs of pants.
What riches!
Then I took Elizabeth into OshGosh and picked up another hemorrhoid hell bent on selling me every "I'm the Big Sister!" t-shirt in the joint. Gawd.
*Note to sales people: A giant belly does NOT equal a giant wallet. STEP OFF.
19 comments:
Motherhood Maternity is the devil. No way around it. I give you major credit for going though. My response to the second pregnancy was "yoga pants" from Walmart and a general attitude of "pregnant, puking and lugging a toddler...hate my outfit? Get the eff out of my face, problem solved!" Your plan is way better.
Salespeople? Also the devil. If only corporate office knew how many stores I avoid because the way they must train their employees to stalk you has turned me off the store forever. Gymboree, I am talking to you!
YOGA PANTS! I love the ones at NY&Co. They are cute for after-baby, too.
I can't believe you only have 2 months to go. Is it going fast for you??
Go to target and buy some stretchy pants that are 3 sizes too big and those should work fine.
makin' babies is a big, money-makin' business (both the making part and the baking part).. Seen as I have no sense of style in the first place, I'd be perfectly happy with some George from Asda maternity gear (a.k.a Walmart crap).
In fact, I've gained so much weight lately that wearing multicoloured maternity pants sounds awfully tempting! :)
Can't believe you didn't use your pregnancy hormones earlier on! All need to do is glare at them and growl something about just browsing...
xx
Salespeople like that (and my reaction to them) are the reason that when I worked retail I was the most hands off salesperson ever. A quick "Hi, let me know if I can help you with anything" as the customer walked through the door was enough. If they needed help they asked and shockingly enough I always made the sales goals (which were set for the store, not me personally).
I have bins and bins of clothes I could send you.............
I am totally feeling you on this. Best wishes to you in the final stretch.
Dude, they suck. Why can't there be a CHEAPER place to buy clothes you are only going to wear for like 2 months? I have been there once this pregnancy, and only because I had a gift card. I managed to get 3 shirts for $50 and was shocked I got so many for that amount.
Also, their return policy? Is basically NO. You can't return anything.
I have 3 pairs of pants from Target, they're black and cotton and actually from the plus section but have this panel thing at the top that's supposed to fold over, but I just pull it up over my belly and they work super well as maternity pants. I think they were like $15. I have worn nothing else for months.
Bah Ha. Seriously; it's frustrating getting clothes! Im glad you have another pair of pants though; you need pants! My husband calls my black pants from Motherhood, my ski pants. He totally thought I was wearing ski/snowboarding pants. Boo.
I was all about goodwill!
I'm not too good to save $25-35 on a pair of maternity pants by getting them used.
Great site. Wish you had the twitter gadget on your site. I would like to tweet it for the general public.
Lots of women would like to know they are not alone.
You know, I certainly do not miss Motherhood Maternity. Those saleswomen ticked me off every time. Pregnancy hormones + pushing salepeople are not a good match. I feel your pain on lack of clothes though. Near the end, I had 2 acceptable outfits to wear out in public. All other times, I work my stretchy PJ bottoms and DH's t-shirts.
I hear there are a lot of good deals at Goodwill - just go up a couple of sizes - you can wear them home from the hospital too!
This is so funny! I love your humor!
I haven't been pregnant for 13 years and STILL cringe at the thought of Motherhood Maternity stores. Like everyone else said, try Target.
My husband will no longer accompany me to Motherhood. The sales people are SO pushy that he just can't stand it anymore. I, however, have no problem saying, "I don't need help, I'm just looking". Still, though. It's absurdly obnoxious and they should really change the way they train their employees.
What a great resource!
I work for motherhood. I agree the way we are FORCED to help customers is annoying, but, remember that dealing with pregnant hormonal women all day is no picnic either, so have a heart and don't call us hemmeroids. After all we are just there to earn a paycheck, and some of us really do try to break up the pushy sales tactics that we must follow or be fired with a little bit of humor and genuine conversation.
Do you really think that the employees like having to be pushy? It sucks. And, they don't even make commission. People have to do what they have to do to keep their jobs. Wonder if you would like it if people treated you like sh*t for doing your job and still got chewed out by corporate for not selling enough.
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