I'm in a pissy mood and can't write a coherent post. So I'll give you a list of pointless crap.
You're welcome.
1. Bloggers who lie and inflate their numbers trying to impress the "little people" make me laugh.
See that Site Meter in my side bar? Click on it. Go ahead. I don't mind.
It will open up and show the whole world that--gasp!--Jaci might hit 8,500 hits this month! I don't hide it, keep it on lock down, and then try to tell people that I get 80,000 hits per month. Because good lord who cares?
Kind of reminds me of people who brag about how much they make--yet never back it up by laying a paycheck stub on the table. Hmmmm....
2. I drank a cap full of Castor Oil this morning...
...because it was still in my bathroom closet from the Oil Cleansing Method experiment and I'm losing my mucus plug and gawd when am I going to go into real labor?!?! I took it straight because I'm bad ass...and too lazy to go downstairs for a glass of orange juice...and a "cap full" looked like about 1 teaspoon anyway.
I guess I'm supposed to take 2 TBS for it to do anything. Right now? It's not doing anything. I'm not even pooping.
My bowels are like a group of thugs hanging out in front of the liquor store, laughing their asses off at the castor oil. "Ha! Boy! You think you're bad shit, huh? You ain't nutin' 'round here!" The castor oil is avoiding making eye contact and just slinking on through my system in fear.
FAIL.
3. My dad flashed me a receipt from his savings account and my mouth seriously fell open.
I said, "That's your 401K, right?"
"No. This is just savings."
Niiiice. There isn't even enough in my savings for a big trip to Sam's Club.
Then I got a little pissed, because how come I had to wear clothes from WAL-MART in high school?!? And why was Mom always screaming, "We don't have any money!" every time I came home from college and made me feel like shit for needing $20 for gas?!? Clearly, they had money.
I'm all bitter.
4. Days away from Week 40, and guess what?
I'm getting stretch marks.
I don't want to talk about it.
5. I'm full of piss and vinegar.
Or at least, that's what my grandpa would say. I seriously hate the world right now, and have isolated myself in my bedroom so that I don't commit homicide. Or claw a stranger's face. Or make a friend's soul wither from my sarcasm.
It's just best that I be alone until real contractions hit, okay?
15 comments:
That stupid sitemeter website says I get no hits. There's no way I'm getting no hits. How did you get it to work??
Screw the meter, I'd be just happy if people read my crap. Good luck making it these last few days...and FYI I can totally relate to the "we're broke" but clearly they never were situation.
Castor oil is total horse puckey! I drank damn near the whole bottle and not even a burp...and this from a gal who threw up all day, every. single. day. for her entire pregnancy! None the less, I hope it does something for ya, otherwise I recommend lying on the floor of your OB's office sobbing and refusing to leave until they induce to be a great labor starter...just kidding (but only kind of).
Jaci, I know you're miserable, but DAMN girl, you are funny about it! I was overdue with my first and went with the spicy foods theory. Food was so spicy my lips were numb and I couldn't talk normal for a week. Nothing. I think people just make that crap up to give extremely pregnant women something to do so they won't go on homicidal sprees.
Cheering for contractions,
Christy
WELL; lets see a positive in all this...at least you're not over due! You're not over due! And props to you for drinking that stuff!
I took castor oil 2 days before my due date bc I didn't want to be induced, had PUPPS and was walking around at 3cm 80%.
It worked. I drank it at 3pm. 2 tablespoonfulls (ughhh!) around 6pm I got sick, both ways. My MW said to take a very hot shower too (it plays a role??) and so I took 3 showers! and by 9pm I felt fine, like I'd had a stomach bug. 11pm, labor. 6:39am, baby. Drink it!!!!
I just read your last paragraph to my husband and he said "I'm glad I'm not her hubby..." I'm hoping for contractions, for the sake of your entire family!
Site meter? Dude, I am happy if I get more than 20 hits on one post. I am so small time.
I am not trying castor oil. W/my first the night before my due date my husband gave me a choice. Either go for a walk (which meant around our gated community about 45 mins) or have sex. I chose to lie there & take it. 3 hours later? Water broke & in labor. Unfortunately I am sure that sounds as unpleasant to you right now as it does to me.
I am keeping my fingers crossed for soon, soon, SOON.
Yeah Jaci....there is a view counter somewhere? I will have to look for it. Although I as you couldn't give a crap.
Funny I have the same thing goin on with my folks.
Sounds like you should have had hubby put a heavy bag up in the bedroom, releasing tension and promoting fitness.
The end is in sight!
Good Luck
Ugh. I don't blame you on locking yourself in the bedroom...the last few weeks, or in your case, days :(, totally suck (especially when it's not your first). Good luck!
You need a cheer to chant...
Rah Rah Ree
Get out of Me!
Rah Rah Rass
Before I kick someone's A..
hmmm...never mind. I got nuthin' except sympathy for the stretch marks. That's how mine went last time...all fine and dandy until the last 3 weeks and then BOOM! the skin on my stomach looked like a freaking tie-dye shirt. The last dermatologist visit, she was like, "Yeah, all that belly right there is just stretched skin." I thought about slapping her but she had a scalpel in her hand preparing to rid me of a possible cancerous mole. How did I get from a pregnancy cheer to moles???
I'm getting to the house confinement stage. I can't go anywhere without a smartass comment or advice on how to go into labor.
Last night as I'm painfully waddling around the block, this neighbor guy says 'you know what'll get that baby out fast?'
I reply 'Nope! I'm fine, he'll come when he's ready'
He doesn't stop and responds eagerly 'Eat some mac'n'cheese. I swear it works!'
I gave him the look of death and snarled while saying 'oh yeah? That along with spicy food, pineapple, eggplant, castor oil, enemas, sex, and walking.'
He shut up after that and I continued my pathetic waddle that put me in pain for the next 6 hours. Asshole.
Deanna, that cheer was awesome!
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