I'm thinking of leaving that message on my phones, and maybe even using it as an e-mail response. But I won't. 'Cause I'm a people pleaser.
I don't know why I'm not happy and excited like other about-to-pop pregos. I don't know why I'm not rubbing my stretched marked belly and purring, "Mmm, I don't mind if I go overdue. I luuurrve being pregnant! This baby will decide when it wants to come!"
But, here's the truth: I'm unhappy right now.
This isn't my first time in the ring. I know that labor hurts--pretty freaking bad--and the postpartum period is pure hell on earth. I know that I'll spend weeks spraying numbing stuff on stitches and hemorrhoids every time I use the bathroom...my boobs will turn into ginormous lumps of pain...and at night, a newborn will scream into my ear and take it's little hands and claw at my neck. So, it's a lot different from the Eternity ads I pictured the first time around.
Oh, shut up. You know you want your life to look like that ad, too.Secondly, if you'll remember, I didn't volunteer for this. I didn't have several months of trying and dreaming and longing before those little lines finally appeared on the pregnancy test--it was a total shock during the most difficult time of my life. Is this the time I would have chosen to have baby #2? Umm... NO. In fact, I had decided that one child was enough for me! Now I'm adjusting my life and hopes and dreams around another baby and another 3 years of babydom...
It's been a hard pregnancy--and oddly enough, not because of the actual pregnancy! (This time has been a dream compared to the physical issues I had with Elizabeth.) My emotions have been all over the place just from marriage counseling and recovering from the bomb that blew up in my face last summer. My whole life was turned upside down, and I'm still trying to put everything back in place.
So, sure, let's add in pregnancy hormones and a newborn. Why not?
Also...why do I have to have at least 3 or 4 legitimate reasons to complain about pregnancy? Why does any pregnant woman have to explain why she's exasperated? It's freaking pregnancy, not a 10 day Caribbean cruise! Every woman is going to have an issue with it, and it's pretty sad that we can't be honest about it for fear that someone will roll their eyes and say that we're ungrateful. (Or worse, a piss poor mother.)
I believe we ALL have the right to complain. Whether your baby was a surprise, planned, conceived through infertility treatments, whatever...every woman has the right to say, "You know what? I feel like shit today," and not feel guilty about it.
And shame on any woman who dares to roll her eyes at her.
13 comments:
AMEN!
You'd never catch an eye roll from me. I'd be leaving a path of distruction behind me! At least it's almost out, which to me is the worst part. Best of luck, and be sure to post pics of the mystery babe.
I feel like SHIT today! Thanks for that. Because I do. Yesterday I was all "i don't care if she is overdue" and today PLEASE COME OUT NOW!
I hated being pregnant! And you're right, no one understands. They're all like "It isn't THAT bad"...and then I wanted to punch them. That would have been about the only thing that would make me smile.
I'm so sorry this false labor crap is giving you hell.
Everyone is entitled to bitch! You wouldn't be normal if you DIDN'T! I spent a great deal of my 27 months of pregnancy (3 children, don't even bother doing the math) complaining. I mean, think of all the cursing, gnashing of teeth and tantrums that construction workers throw out there, and they're just building a HOUSE! You're making a person, 24/7!
Hang in there sweetie....you're a great Mom! In spite of all you've had working against you, just look what you have done!!!!!
♥,Lilly
I did fertility with my son and STILL complained the whole time! It's not that you don't want the baby...its the other stuff that often comes with it that is sometimes NOT enjoyable! I mean, NOONE in their right mind likes to hear a newborn cry all night and not sleep at all. And if they say they do? They are doing drugs and should be put away...
Vent away girl...if anyone says anything to you negatively then they need to get a life and stop trying to be mean...don't read the blog if you are going to be rude.
Hang in there girl...you are SO in the home stretch!!
You know what? Screw my feelings being "legitimate". I have them, therefore they ARE legit. It's been fun reading your blog during my pregnancy because you say things, things I could be saying myself. I am such a bitch right now, I admit it. I feel like crap all the time. My poor husband is walking on eggshells. I am a nag. I went grocery shopping and then nearly died from the physical stress it put on my body. I dont WANT this baby to be in me for 2 more weeks. I have found pregnancy to be 100 times harder the second time around with a toddler in teh house, and I just want it to be over already.
bitch all you want. I'm not pregnant and I'm bitching.
Take care of yourself.
eye roll, sigh...
I'm all about the complaining these days (presently 37 weeks prego). Seems like people want to make you feel guilty about the complaining...each time I get a slight bit of whining going I get a good stern lecture about how it's "all worth it in the end" and how much I'll "just looove" that baby.
I definitely know that I'll love the baby and it'll be all worth it...but right now it sucks!
I so wish I enjoyed being pregnant - I really want to. I don't though, it sucks. So much so that it took me 5 years to be convinced to give it another go and then I end up pregnant with TWINS! 33 weeks and counting every, single day. I'm tired, sore, swollen and SO ready for them to come out. The thing is, my maternal side does kick in at some point and say "no, no, I might be miserable but I know they're still better off in than out." It's true but dammit, I'm OVER being pregnant.
guess what? i feel like crap today!
my sciatic nerve is making me want to cry with every step, my hips hurt, my feet hurt, im tired, and i wake up several times a night gagging in a pool of my own stomach bile. yay!
and any anonymous coward who wants to roll her eyes can SUCK IT!
For the 24 hrs after you deliver, use an ice pack on your episiotomy. Change it every hour. Tell the nurses in advance that's what you are going to do and then don't slack on it. It will make a WORLD of difference. Trust me.
While you are in labor, have Kevin watch the fetal monitor for contractions. My husband could see them coming before I could feel them. He would tell me one was coming and I could immediately zone out to my happy place. He was chatting and missed one and I couldn't believe the difference! (I was ready to deck him!)
Don't let the timing of this conception color your attitude toward the baby. Without realizing it, you will project that on to the child. You are already. It happened. Let it go.
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