Kevin went back to work today. So, obviously, Elodie sensed a disturbance in the Force and stayed up most of the night screaming. It wasn't gas pains...it wasn't colic...it was arm flailing and anger.
I'm running on various chunks of sleep that I think total 5 hours. It's 11 am and my first day alone at home with two kids is already marked as fail. The only time Elodie isn't screaming is a.) nursing, or b.) passed out from exhaustion.
Also? Happiest Baby on the Block? You suck. Swaddling and shushing and giggling her head gently like jello does NOTHING other than piss her off. I would take a picture of her face while wrapped in her straight jacket--I mean, blanket--but baby scowls are just sad.
Even more sad? My reaction to the nerve-splitting screams. I'm no Madonna, people. When Elodie cranks up, I lose the .001% of patience I have and start dropping F bombs. And where is the "sense of peace" that's supposed to wash over me while breastfeeding?!? The Mommy Fairy must have skipped that bit of pixie dust. Instead of relaxing and cuddling my baby, I'm watching the clock and fighting back the urge to pry her off me.
*deep breath*
I can do this. Only 3 more weeks, and I'll have a different baby who smiles and interacts and does more than just flail and scream and eat every 2 hours. Maybe by then I can even have coffee again?
17 comments:
Hang in there girlfriend...sucky day...you are entitled to an f bomb every now and again.
1st day is always hard...
If you and the kids are alive at the end of Day 1, that's not a fail that's a win! It's all about low expectations. At least until someone (besides Dad) is sleeping through the night. (Not that I begrudge Dad the sleep...mostly.)
Screw the coffee - have a glass of wine. Right now. Seriously. Go do it. The first days alone are the hardest...
If it's any help, my kids are still alive and mostly speak to me. Take good care of yourself.
yep hang in there and deep breaths do help...and I 2nd the wine...
I love the fact that you are so honest. Although it's been eons ago now, I remember those first days just like you described. And I didn't even have an older one to deal with. You can do it - just hang on. You know it gets easier - or umm, different.
I BF and have at least two cups of coffee a day... do it!
I never did get to the point with nursing where it was...enjoyable. I stuck it out for a few months but I never liked it.
I hope the days get better for you soon.
Have the coffee! I found that after abstaining during pregnancy, decaf does the trick.
The third week (usually when the SO heads back to work) is always the toughest. Baby has little growth spurt, wants to eat 24/7 and decides that being awake, even if pissed, is kind of okay.
As mentioned just know that if everyone is clean (only people, never mind the house), fed (Kids, since lets face it, you have not had a hot meal since Elizabeth arrived) and in one piece, then you have done a great job.
You have the right idea, each day/hour minute is one closer to that magic 6 week point where the crazy tapers off a bit. You can do this!
YOU! R FUNNY!! LOVE IT!
Well, the good news is you can't send her back inside to your vajayjay because THAT trauma would be way worse than listening to the screaming.
Seriously, it's okay to wrap her up and lay her in her crib for 5 minutes while you sit outside and have a cup of coffee. or wine. it won't hurt the baby as long as you aren't chugging an entire bottle!
Seriously, give yourself a break. Breathe. Even 5 minutes can calm everyone down a smidge.
Yikes! I am sure this is scary and irritating! Hopefully your f-bombs don't rub off on the kiddies! hehe!
Hang in there!
Are you hanging in there?
Ugh,it is hard, isn't it? My hubby went back Monday and I am dreading tomorrow and Friday when my 4 yo doesn't have school in the afternoon. 2 Kids all day?! ARGH! Hang in there... we'll be okay again someday, right?
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you can make it through the rain. you stand up once again on my own.
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