I spent some time researching "stripping membranes" and "labor induction" and can I just say that I am so sick of reading 1,001 ignorant opinions and viewpoints women have on childbirth?
Wait, let me rephrase that--I'm sick of reading, "Anyone who doesn't have 100% natural labor, refuse all medical intervention, and then breastfeed no matter what SHOULD NEVER HAVE CHILDREN!!!!"
I'm also thanking God that I'm not an OBGYN, because I wouldn't last a year before I ended up slapping some stupid woman with her phone-book-thick birth plan. I'm all for going into labor informed about the process and knowing the pros and cons of various medications and interventions, but there comes a point where you stop being a concerned patient and turn into a douche.
What I find hilarious is that there are so many lines drawn in the sand over labor induction. You have the "Pro Meds" who are okay with inductions and pick and choose a la cart: some women don't want Pitocin (I can sympathize)...some don't want to be induced until week 42...some will only try stripping membranes...
Then you have the "Naturals". A few will let their mid-wives strip their membranes as a last resort, but most of them want no intervention what-so-ever.
Well...no intervention other than herbs, teas, enemas, etc.
Which begs the question: Why is it okay to chug castor oil but refuse Cervidil? They are both "medications". One just came from the dusty bottom shelf of CVS while the other is administered safely by an entire hospital staff. Just because a medicine has been around for over 100 years that doesn't make it "natural"--that qualifies as an antique!
I don't understand why labor is such a hot button issue for women. Why does anyone care how I push the baby out? (Or don't, if I have a C-section.) If someone wants to get all hot and bothered about her own experience, fine! Insist on all kinds of crazy stuff and emerge from L&D with a Purple Heart for Non-Medicated Bravery! Good for you! I don't care.
But when you start bad mouthing other moms for having a different labor than you...well, then you're just an asshat. And a bully. And a total loser for making another woman feel "less than" as a mother.
(Which, apparently, is totally natural for all women to do. Online and anonymously, of course.)
28 comments:
I totally understand!! I see it constantly, "OH I hope you don't have to get an induction, they are awful!" which isn't nearly as bad as the, "OMg don't do it!" I've had a lot of my friends wish me to go before my induction, because they don't believe in them. Well, leave the second part out and its a pretty nice statement. Otherwise, get over it! UHG!
I'm being induced tomorrow night because I feel like total shit 99% of the time. I don't want to harm my family when I flip out, so out this baby comes! Judge away!
jaci- i was induced, and i wouldn't change it for the world i was going crazy and probably i was a huge threat to my friends, family, and myself due to my overall anger at the kid not coming out. you should do what you feel is right, and ignore whoever thinks they've got it figured out for you. and drug it up if you need to..screw 'em. p.s. i hope you pop soon even though i'll miss the posts.
Yep we're on the same page with this one. I've heard great and horrible stories for just about every scenario. For some reason, birthing center friends of mine annoy me the most. They have this superior attitude like they accomplished something more than I could ever do because I'll be at a hospital. I think the ones who actually anger me are those who have 6 hour labors and 5lb kids. I tell them to talk to me after they've pushed out a 9lb kid and tore down and around their butt hole.
I just ran across your blog tonight and I just wanted to let you know that I find your honesty so refreshing. You say what I think..love that. I don't understand the superior attitudes either. As long as the baby comes out, who gives a damn how it was done? Good luck to you and I hope your baby comes soon!
Like everything else in life Induction has its pros and cons. I have a friend who suffered from PTSD after her 36 hr indcued labor turned into a c-section when she simply stopped contracting no matter how much pit they gave her. I also have a sister who had two successful inductions with fast, easy labors at 39 weeks (one for gestational diabetes and one for pre-eclampsia). As long as you make an informed decision whatever you decide to do is the right thing.
A million times yes. I firmly believe that everyone deserves a shot at the birth they want. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, a woman should be offered whatever support she wants/needs to do what she feels is right for her. The disclaimer here is that there is no "one size fits all" birth ideal. If you wanted natural and did it... Hooray. If you wanted an elective c-section and got it...hooray. If it did not go according to plan and you are upset, you should be supported in grieving as needed. As women and mothers we should be supportive of all the various choices that will lead to a healthy baby. Odds are, if you feel the need to judge others for the choices they made, you are only doing so to validate your own experience. I think the lesson here is that we should be celebrating the fact that we have choices at all, since many women before us fought for the opportunities to regain this control over our own bodies.
Jaci-do what feels right to you, it feels that way for a reason.
Amen!
A healthy baby and mama are really all that matters.
"but there comes a point where you stop being a concerned patient and turn into a douche."
Now that is funny! I have a good friend that is a pedicatrician and is now pregnant. She says doctors are the worst patients! Maybe it is because they have seen so much. But she said she wants to slap doctor parents all the time because she feels like they are constantly questioning her practices! Why don't you just treat yourself and your kids then!
great post!
from the medical standpoint, being induced increases your risk of c section. more women die from c sections than vaginal birth. if it is medically indicated then YES induction and c section is what is best for mom.....but if you are just tired of being pregnant it is not the best thing for you.
that is not an opinion. that is fact.
It's also a medical fact that a woman who has already had a successful vaginal birth has greatly reduced risks of complications than a first time mom.
But no one points that out in their Inductions are Pure Evil arguments.
Also, most Dr.'s won't induce just because Mom is "sick of being pregnant". If she isn't showing signs of being labor ready (dilating, effacing, etc.) or isn't having a health risk, they will wait until week 40.
Hey anon!
Guess what? I AM just tired of being pregnant AND I'm more likely to kill someone I love at this point, I think its medically necessary for me to be induced. :) Suck it.
Anonymous = one of THOSE.
Why do people have to put their opinions in here AGAINST what you are going through when you are the one pregnant? I mean, talking about dying?! That's such a nice thing to say to a pregnant person. Anon, get a life and stop posting anonymously...it's getting old.
Jaci, you will be fine. Just trust your doctor. Alot of us have been induced and all went well. You only really hear of horror stories...
For the love of God, if you figure out a successful way to induce labor PLEASE share it with me :) I don't care who says what about it. A) Give me the hospital, drugs, whatever...I am not trying to be a superhero, I just want my baby
B) I AM TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT...My first baby was 9.5 lbs, you would think they would be watching that but apparently "I tolerate pregnancy sooo well" that its okay to have a ginormous baby. UGH!!!
I totally agree that it's a personal decision, and that women tend to be really judgemental about what others do. I really think it's a shame.
My main problem with the way that induction, pitocin, birth etc are viewed in our culture is that I DONT think that a lot of young women actually know all of their options. People assume it's normal to be induced, and to have drugs. They think that there is no other way, or that there is no way in heck to handle the pain or discomfort of childbirth on their own. Which, maybe for some people that is true. But I just wish that women were really, truly given ALL their options before making a choice.
I've been reading your blog through your pregnancy, and now that you're overdue (ugh, I'm on my way there too...) it's your CHOICE what to do - and I know that you know all the options, because you've talked about it. So, I think you should do what is right for you! See, that's called SUPPORT of another woman, instead of being an a**hole and judging someone else's choice.
I don't really understand why people in the world choose to focus their energy on negativity. It seems like those women could better spend their time advocating for something they believe in. Like, maybe instead of judging people, try EDUCATING without being scary or bitchy? Or instead of saying people are WRONG, spend your time advocating for more midwives in hospitals or whatever.
Also, I find it strange that some people want to point out facts, but are not willing to even do it under their own name. Just 'sayin.
I hope that everything goes smoothly for you!
It's your experience, you do it how ever you want to.
And you for your sake I hope you do it soon.
whether you give birth in a meadow with sunshine and daisies and singing deer, or get sliced open like a frog in biology class, someone is going to judge you.
lets face it - most women are bitches - and having a baby is a primal thing that brings out our need to prove our worthiness. and, unfortunately, we do that by judging others.
however you end up giving birth, you must do what is best for YOU (and yes, i know you've probably already figured this out :) )
whether you give birth in a meadow with sunshine and daisies and singing deer, or get sliced open like a frog in biology class, someone is going to judge you.
lets face it - most women are bitches - and having a baby is a primal thing that brings out our need to prove our worthiness. and, unfortunately, we do that by judging others.
however you end up giving birth, you must do what is best for YOU (and yes, i know you've probably already figured this out :) )
As long as you are informed of your choices and comfortable with your decision, then what you do really isn't anyone else's business, except perhaps your husband's. I hope you have that little baby girl in your arms soon!
Have you seen the "business of being born" (I am only half sure that is the name of it... blame it on the fetus sucking my brain cells dry) There was some lady, who compared her home birth to an orgasm. Either she has the WORST sex ever, or she was so delusional from the pain that she was seeing unicorns and orgasms fall from the sky. Either way, people like her give seriously false hopes to many a people. I get really tired of the people who havent had kids yet, but are 100% sure it cant be as bad as everyone says. My little brothers pregnant 16 year old girlfriend for example. She is certain that it isnt that painful, and probably wont need the epidural. (Did I mention she is 10 weeks and already complaining about "pain") Mmm-kay, sure. I had my first, 8 lbs and 21 inches, without the epidural, cause it didnt work. They didnt place it right and I get to feel natural labor, and I for one can say NEVER AGAIN! Not for $1,000 would I want it again. Maybe for a million, but I wanna see cash in hand before signing that deal.
People like to make others feel bad about their choices no matter what it is. Go on with your bad self and medicate it up! Lord knows you will be in great company on that train. I think epidurals should be optional at 34 weeks, just sayin...
it was not my intention to scare jaci or anyone. i just want pregnant women in general to understand that it is best for your body and baby to go into labor on your own like mother nature intended. pitocin and other medications like cervil and cytotec cause contractions to be harder, stronger, longer...which makes it harder for moms and babies. unless it is medically indicated you should try to avoid induction even if you are 4o weeks and dilated. your labor will be so much better without pitocin!when you are induced you will be strapped to monitors, stuck in the bed, attached to iv's and blood pressure cuffs....at the very least.
one person gets induced because they want to be and soon the whole country is being induced....then we will progress to scheduled c sections for everyone! i just want women and their babies to be healthy! that is it! HEALTHY! I am sorry if I offended you jaci and everyone else that commented but at the rate of induction that this country it going in the mortality and morbidity of moms and babies will just get worse.
I am sure jaci, that your induction will go fine especially since you have had vaginal birth before and because your cervix is ripe...
go and have that baby! I just hope you go into labor tonight without having to be induced! that's all!
and I am not judging you! or anyone else!!!! i have been there and wished my baby out and wanted to be induced....i understand that....i really do....
again, i am sorry if i offended you and anyone else! i just want women to be healthy!!!!
Anonymous, you didn't offend me, so don't worry about it. I've done my own research on it and am 100% comfortable with my situation.
I admire the fact that you care about women's health and want everyone to know about the risks of induction. But, there are also risks for waiting too long, such as the placenta breaking down...fluid running low...baby growing too large...baby pooping in utero and getting it in their lungs...even death.
Pitocin is the last step of my induction, and I hope I don't need it! It hurts like a mofo! And I might NOT need it...
I'm having timing contractions right now. :)
It's totally insecurity. And it's annoying. Everyone's an expert. Don't listen to any of it!
I didn't want this anonymous, but I can't remember my password..oh well...
I was induced with both my girls...it's not bad!! Good luck!!! keep your eye on the prize your beautiful little girl :)
--Jodi
I keep checking back to see if you're in the hospital yet! Especially since you're timing contractions (I read your comment above!) I wish for your sake that this baby comes; I know you're ready!
And skip the wine... it's used to slow down premature labor. Not the plan.
i trust everything will be fine. bless you!........................................
Oh yes, I was told at dinner with some high school friends how I wasn't really a mom...cause I had a c-section and didn't know what true labor was! As I was juggling the baby at the time I just smiled and ignored the bitca.
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