Most of my breastfeeding issues have cleared up! The pain is gone. I'm slathering on lanolin faithfully. I've mastered the night-time feedings with the side-lying position. And Elodie gets in and out within 20 minutes--no more dorking around with latches.
Will I stick it out? Mmmmm...I don't know. There are pros and cons to this. (Cons?!? *gasp* Don't let the Nursing Nazi's hear you!!!)
PROS
- Health benefits for baby (duh)
I think it's holding off colic. *fingers crossed*
- Weight loss for me (triple bonus points)
- Easy night feedings
- Already invested money in bras and nursing stuff
From here on out it will be free--but don't let anyone tell you "Breastfeeding is free!" It's NOT free! It's cheaper than formula, yes, but you still have to investing in nursing supplies! I have $180 wrapped up in this, and it would have been a lot more if my friend hadn't given me her electric breast pump.
CONS
- Stuck with baby
So...a couple days ago, Kevin took Elizabeth for the afternoon and ran errands. While he was gone, it suddenly hit me that I can't leave the baby. I'm exclusively breastfeeding--I can't even be gone for an hour! What if she decides to cluster feed?
Until I've pumped a spare milk supply and successfully introduced the bottle, I'm stuck. I realized tonight that it's almost been 2 weeks with no break. Trust me...I'm feeling it.
- Nursing in public
Nursing at home? How sweet! How beautiful! Nursing in public? Ugh.
My mom made a cover for me (THANK YOU MOM!) so I'm not smothering Elodie under a blanket--or exposing myself. But I'm so tense that we don't have good nursing sessions. Where am I going to feed her? Car? Restroom? Dressing room? On a bench where anyone can stare at me? It stresses me out!
Formula definitely has the advantage for public feeding. And yes, I know I could make bottles of breast milk and take them along--but doesn't that defeat the whole "Easy! No lugging of bottles!" pro-breastfeeding point?
- Feeling "All" or "Nothing"
Maybe I've read too many books, but I have it in my head that once formula is introduced breastfeeding is done. The milk supply dries up...baby refuses to go back to boob...and Mom is nothing but a slave to the Evil Formula Company.
When I hit a bad day, I feel like I have to make a permanent decision about The Future of Feedings right then and there. There's no back-up plan or break (see Con #1). It's either make each feeding or FAIL.
Hopefully, creating my horde of pumped milk will make me relax...but that leads me to the next con...
- Pumping "extra" is hard work
I'm supposed to pump after feeding--but again, what if she cluster feeds? I don't want to pump it out only to have her wake up fist eating 40 minutes later. So I only pump for about 10 minutes and turn it off.
Tonight I got 1/4 of an ounce. Wow.
Anyway. I made it through the first few hell weeks, and I'm just now enjoying pain-free feedings. It's too soon to make any long term decisions.
I'll check back in at 6 weeks.
23 comments:
That whole pump after feeding is crazy. I pumped about 20 minutes before and then let the baby feed. Ultimately it made me have more milk, which let me have a nicer supply, and I was relaxed. Which is nicer for everyone involved.
It gets much easier because as they get older, they will go 4-5 hours between feedings so you can actually go the store and not worry about a feeding.
Introduce the bottle by week 6 - that's the key. Use the playtex with the natural nipple (brown color) that is labeled SLOW. Stay with that the whole time you nurse. So if you nurse for a year, use that nipple flow for a year. At some point right around a year, my son looked at my boob with a face that read "Why the hell do I want that thing? This bottle rocks." And that was the end of nursing.
SO glad that things are going better!! YEAH!! GO MAMA!!
Ok...to address your issues:
1. You should NOT be pumping after every feeding right now. Holy impossible, batman. Who told you that?? In order to build up a good pumping stash here's what I suggest: First feeding of the day (when you have the most milk) only feed on ONE side and then pump the other. You should easily be able to pump between 4-9 ounces off that one side every day so that's 28-63 ounces every WEEK you can stash. Start there. It's going to be SO incredibly frustrating if you try to nurse after feeding both sides because as you said, there's nothing left. Elodie gets 90% of available milk, pump can only get 20-25%. The AVERAGE amount a full time nursing mom pumps after a feeding is 1/4-1/2 ounce so you are right where you should be. Now, in about 1-2 months not only can you pump one side and feed the other but you can ALSO pump right before bed as she starts going to bed earlier. So say at like 11pm, pump both sides. I did this with Genevieve and I had OVER 500 ounces in my deep freezer at all times!!
2. Nursing in public - easy peasy. Get the "hooter hider" or have your mom make you one like it - make sure it has the wire in it at the neck area so that you can see Elodie. That's key - being able to see. Also, as she gets older, just ditch the blanket and nurse....no one will see ANYTHING. I nursed my kids everywhere, no blanket required and no one said anything. Once you do it a couple times, it's just so so simple and you'll never even think about it again. It's just that doing it those first couple times that can be tough. I will say that I see nursing mamas EVERYWHERE nowadays - seriously everywhere. It seems to be so common now.
3. The all or nothing thing....eh....yes and no. I will say that everytime you give a bottle, yes you ARE going to sabotage your milk supply. BUT..that doesn't mean that it has to be one or the other. If you would like the convenience of formula and the benefits of breastmilk then I suggest that you nurse Elodie first thing in the morning when you wake up and then last thing at night before bed. Those are the two times of the day when you are sure to have milk all the time and you're not going to "dry up" then. It's the middle of the day things that take a toll when you supplement.
Breastfeeding can be so so easy - but yes, the first month or 2 it's hard work. If you're willing to make it through those first few weeks, then you'll be fine until you hit some milestones at like 4-5 months and 8-9 months and I'm happy to help you through those as well. I went out and about and out with friends right away while I was nuring without my daughters. I nursed, and then ran to Target for 60-90 minutes...it was never really an issue. If she cries, guess what? Your husband or other family/friends will deal with it. She's not going to starve if you leave for an hour. She will be fine until you get home - you need to take care of YOU. Physically and emotionally. If you need to get out of the house and away from her for an hour, then DO IT!! In the longrun, it will make your nursing experience better. It's not a prison sentence. I found it very liberating and free!! I never felt stuck at home and especially once I started pumping first thing in the morning one side/feeding the other, my "stash" grew so quickly that it was super easy to leave a bottle and go out.
Hang in there!
*HUGS*
Yeah, I pumped once. It sucked. And was just absurd.I've never had a back-up supply, and my kids have never had formula. The only bottles they've had were "juice" when I was in class or at work. When you're breastfeeding, your milk supply becomes (astonishingly quickly!)in sync with your baby's hunger... so if you go out, you *know* when you need to get yourself home to feed the baby...
Out in public? My only concern is about giving the baby a peaceful environment to nurse. If someone "sees" my boobs? Seriously???? I am feeding my child. Their issues can take a ride with them. I only care about feeding my child.
And, they wean themselves, when they're ready.
Another 37 cents you owe me. You're welcome!
What Dana said about pumping. Once a day in the morning when your supply is greatest.
NIP? Just do it. Use a cover if that makes you more comfortable. I Nurse In Public every day and no one even blinks. And my mama milk bags are hooooooge. There is no need to go hide in the bathroom to nurse your baby. Would you go eat your lunch in the restroom? I just reviewed a great nursing undershirt on my blog. I LOVE mine. It's called an Undercover Mama. Go and check it out. And enter to win a free one. Maybe you'll get lucky. There's also a great FB page out there called If Nursing Offends You Put A Blanket Over YOUR Head - it's quite empowering for nursing moms.
You are not stuck. Feed that baby and then just go do what you need to do. Even a baby that seems to be cluster feeding can make it for an hour or two after a good feed. Whoever is caring for her can always put her in the wrap (you babywear?) and go for a walk. Puts most babies right to sleep. Baby will be fine until you get home.
Hugs and Bugs, and Best wishes from one nursing mom to another.
I'm glad things are going better for you.
I totally get the feeling stuck issue. Now that she is latching well you may want to consider introducing a bottle. Once you have a few bottles worth leaving her with someone for a couple of hours shouldn't be an issue. If you miss a feeding while you're out you're going to want to pump when you get back anyway which will help replenish your supply. During the first six months I routinely left my son with my husband or my mom (sometimes he even had formula while I was gone) and we never had supply issues.
You will want to stick with a low flow nipple indefinitely because that will help keep her from wanting the bottle instead of the breast. I can trace the decline of my breastfeeding relationship to the introduction of the soft spouted sippy cup at seven months. So, until you're ready to wean stick with the lowest flow nipples.
So I'm a week in and my milk hasn't come in yet, and we've been supplementing w/formula. He is still beyond happy to nurse. A LOT. You can do formula & breast if you want to, as long as the baby is getting food when she's hungry she'll be cool.
Hey Jaci
SO PLEASED for you that things are looking up!!! I second everything Dana said. Absolutely.
Take care & God Bless
xx
I nursed my baby for a year, and she got one bottle of formula at night before she went to bed the first few weeks. It gave me time for a bath, let my nipples rest, and gave Dad some time to rock her. After a few weeks, we were both ok to nurse, but she went back and forth from bottle to boob with no issues. And I am a well baby nurse...shh, dont tell the nipple nazis I work with :)
There are times when I am extremely glad that my daughter was born back in the dark ages (1966). When I was close to my delivery date, my doctor asked me if I planned to breast feed or bottle-feed. I said bottle. And that was that. That was it, no lectures about harming the child, no comments at all! Just a quick notation in my chart and that was all there was to it.
And believe me, if there were many (or even any) women breastfeeding, they were well hidden! It was not the fashion or norm at that time. If you caught sight of a nursing mother, it was embarrasing to you both. (Times were different in the "olden" days.
The bottle was relatively easy (once you finished sterilizing, mixing, heating, testing, and all such things). And anyone could do it. Daddy shared the joy!
My daughter is in her 40s now and she did just fine. She's been very healthy, she is bright (Master's degree)and she never smoked (no oral fixation).
The babies do just fine if the mom decides to go the bottle route. Really, they do!
I'm just saying....
Everything Dana said.
And yes, introducing formula will mess up your supply. I can't speak from personal experience, but everyone I've known who's done it "as a convenience" has had issues and switched to formula only not too long after that (and been upset by the troubles.)
Dana is a master of the nursing trade! I've battled with all my boys on the nursing issue. I nursed Owen for 6 months, Cole for 2 months, and I just stopped with Nathan after 1 month. Whatever you decide- you've given her a fantastic start in life, and your decision will be the best one for your family! Good luck!
I think you're right to just take it week by week and re-evaluate. I think if you look at it as "I must nurse for a year" (like I looked at it at first) it gets overwhelming. I set small goals: make it to 2 months, then 4, then 6, etc. It really does get easier as each month passes. Now (at 6 month) it's so second nature that I don't even give it a thought anymore. I know I was thrilled when I could stop using that Lanolin cream after each feeding. It also became much easier when Camden wasn't nursing every 2-3 hours...it's much less draining when you don't feel like you have a boob out all day long.
I agree w/ the first poster who said to introduce a bottle by 6 weeks. That was my mistake. I introduced it at 6 weeks, he took it, & then I didn't give him a bottle again for a couple of months. And guess what? He didn't want anything to do with it. So, introduce it, and make sure you give her a bottle once or twice a week so she remembers it.
Good luck. You're doing a fantastic job & you've really made it past the hardest part. It only gets better from here.
For me, supplementing never hurt my supply. I said "if it does, then it does". I didn't want to feel like I didn't have an option other than breastfeeding like my first. Give the kiddo a bottle at LEAST by a month as it takes a little getting used to for them.
Also, I pumped on one side while I fed from the other. I HATED pumping but at first I also wanted freedom and wanted it bad. I started supplementing with formula at 5 months and ditched the pump and my supply is fine.
I second leaving the house.
You NEED to get out EVERYDAY. Even if its just 45 minutes. Go walking around CVS and oogle bottles and pacifies lol. Go for a walk or just sit in the backyard but anything to have some time to yourself. Your baby will be fine for that long I promise. Kevin might not but he can take one for the team right?
you will get more comfortable with public feeding... at certain places. like play areas in a mall... there are usually always other mommies doing it too.
as for pumping you could always feed her off one boob and pump the other, just alternate each time. you probably will end up producing more milk this way, but it will help you build a supply.
your doing great!
You are totally inspiring me. I'm not cheezy like that...but honestly I had such a difficult time with Hagen and want to try it this time. I'm nervous about getting into a good routine and then after my 12 weeks maternity pay is up having to figure out what to do.
I pumped at work for 6 months for Hagen and it was HELL! But the benefits were worth it all.
Man, I'm impressed with you! you go girl!!
You CAN do both formula and breastfeeding, if you want to. I BFed exclusively for 6 months (maybe not as long as you'd like to - I think this plan works anyway) and then over the course of 2 weeks, introduced bottles during the day and kept my morning and evening BF routine.
It's easier to do this when Elodie can reliably go a few hours between feedings, and when your boobs have really settled into a routine. I used to lament that I couldn't even give a pumped bottle, because then I'd get engorged and be uncomfortable and leak and then what was the point?? But by about 12 weeks, this wasn't an issue anymore.
Anyway. The point is, you can, relatively soon, be "free" from Elodie during the day, but still retain lots of the benefits you mention.
Good luck!
And oh yeah - I second all the comments about not pumping all the time. That can cause serious oversupply, which can lead to lots of breast infections. I pumped once a day, in the early morning. I actually HAD to pump then, because my boobs were ginormous at that hour and my son would, like, choke on all of that milk. For realz. But yes - too much pumping is bad, and seriously, don't you kind of hate pumping?? I did. I'd rather do formula than hook myself up to those pumps, but maybe that's just me.
Pumping after you nurse? Screw that! I second all the other comments telling you to do it in the morning. MUCH easier/faster/less stressful. And as for feeling "chained" to the wee one - go ahead and feed her and then leave for and hour or so - chances are she'll be fine, and if she decides to cry whoever is watching her can deal for a few minutes. Give yourself a well deserved (if not WAY TOO SHORT break!)
As for public nursing - I'm not comfortable hanging my girls out there for folks to see - just personal preference, but I've found that nursing tanks are fabulous. They keep your belly/love handles covered and are really comfortable. Then I just use a "hooter-hider" or a blanket, peek down to get baby all set, and then relax - nobody will know what you're doing under there. Good luck with that one - I still feel funny in public but since I refuse to hide in my house for the next year, I deal.
In the beginning, I pumped. A lot. I also developed oversupply. Number of times I've fed my son on both sides @ one sitting: 1. Seriously.
Personally, even with the oversupply, I never got more than 2 oz at a time until Cam hit about 6 weeks. I think it's just a magical time when your boobs finally figure out what the heck's going on, and start squirting it in quantity. (There *may* also be a larger baby stomach involved.) Cut yourself some slack, you're still new @ it :)
As far as nursing in public... I don't think I can comment on this, as I refused to wear clothes in labor. (No idea why, lol) The only reservation I have with it is nursing in front of my FIL (...weeeeird).
And while it was hard to leave the kid, I just pumped a bottle in the morning and left little dude with Daddy/Auntie/Nana while I went & did whatever. If he took the bottle (most times he won't), fine. If not, fine. I know he won't die if he doesn't get milk for an hour. Even if I feel awful having left him.
good luck figuring out what works best for you! i'm sure you'll figure it all out in no time!
If I can do it...ANYONE can do it! Oh and Congratulations!! She's beautiful and I want her.
I introduced my first baby to formula early. Even though I was nursing we started giving her formula every once in a while, maybe one or two bottles a week is all. That way when we were in public and I didn'tfeel comfortable breastfeeding, she took a bottle. It never caused problems. She nursed for a whole year. My second baby I tried the whole stocking up on breastmilk, pumping exrta. Never worked, infact I only made it 9 months with the second. Each baby is different but we totally used formula and it wasn't all or nothing. Good luck!
DUDE I think there are no hard and fast rules. Every baby is different. Some babies LOVE the bottle. Some babies HATE it. Some will have better reactions to formula (because of stuff you eat) and some will have better reaction to breastmilk (because, really, it IS gentler on their tummies). If you introduce the bottle, I'd suggest, do it at least once a week after week 3. If you don't, the baby might reject it even if she likes it at first. CASE IN POINT: My current 6 month old who will not take a bottle. Sucks a duck.
With my other 4 kids, I would breastfeed all the time, except when I went out & needed to let them take a bottle, then I'd use formula because pumping is a huge pain in the butt. I never had any problem at all getting them to go back to the breast. But, like I said, every baby is different. PLEASE don't take anyone's advice here as Gospel. What they say might happen with Elodie or might not. Damn those kids with their own personalities. Get used to your kids doing whatever they want to anyway.
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