She offered, and let's face it, I'd be a fool to refuse help because I want to be the Self Sufficient Super Star.
It's one thing to act that way with Baby #1, but with #2? Puh-lease! I'll even let the MIL fold the contents of my "naughty drawer" if it saves me time and energy.
I was overwhelmed with Elizabeth and Elodie and trying to find a new routine in the midst of chaos. Sometimes it just takes another person with more than 3 hours of sleep to say, "You know, if you put a container of wipes and a pack of diapers on your dinning room table you'll save yourself from running up and down the stairs all day."
Duh. Wake up New Mom.
And while I was in the midst of OMG don't let the baby cry EVAH! craziness, it was wonderful to hand Elodie off to another set of arms so I could go to the bathroom for number one AND two. Or handle an Elizabeth Tweak Out. Or deal with the 6 am feeding and let me sleep because the midnight-two-four shift sucked hard.
So...yeah. Help. It's a good thing. Accept it.
You know one of the best things that came out of this week? The moment when Mom started to get irritated and overwhelmed, too. Call me weird, but it's helpful for me to see someone else start to lose it. It makes me feel normal--and oddly enough, more capable. I snap out of my What To Expect When You're Expecting impossible standards and settle down into reality.
Babies cry. Mom gets annoyed. And the sun will go on rising and setting whether baby gets adequate tummy time or not.
I'm calming back down into my normal "Eh, I'll get through it" attitude. A daily routine is slowly working itself out and I'm not feeling the urge to burst into tears several times a day. Life is good!
And I didn't even need Xanax or a bottle of wine to get there.
12 comments:
I don't think having your mom stay with you qualifies as something worthy of a confession - I would classify it more as a genius move to maintain your sanity.
I'm sure you're doing an awesome job with that little newborn and a 4 year old. And you're smart to have your mom help you out for a while, if you ask me!
two is WAY more than twice the work of one. enough said. Good luck, it comes together eventually! (although the first 4 months are a blur to me).
Yay for help!!!!!!!!!!!
I had baby #3 while having a house built and then moved 2 weeks after she was born. I still get panic attacks when I think about that time of my life.
Help is good.
OMG yes! The help is great. Between visiting grandmas and actual baby leave for my DH I was never on my own with the two of them until the baby was a month old. A very different story from my first where DH took off on a submarine when she was three weeks old and was barely seen again until the 14 month point! My point here: the help is so wonderful and now is the time to shamelessly abuse the privilege.
As for the rest, with two there is no such thing as "real" routine, you just do what needs doing, try and keep your freak outs to a minimum and trudge on. It gets easier as the little one quits being such a time/energy suck, but yeah 2x kids = 4x work, but by the 3-4month point, no worries, it will all feel so normal and well, I find it almost easy and you will too.
I would have killed for my mom or MIL to have been there for half a week. My family (even hubby) brought me home with my new first baby...dumped me out....and left! MIL then brought two steps home to me....WITH LICE! I sat in the middle of the living room floor and cried....The air conditioner also was not working (hubby was a heating and airconditioning contractor)...it was mid june and 105 in the shade. Oh yes...Mom or MIL would have been a blessing.
LOVE.SUPERSTAR. Mary Katherine is hilarious!
Good for you for taking the help! I bowed down and accepted help with Hagen ONE DAY. It was actually more work for me because my HELP actually just wanted to hold the baby...nothing else. It is nice to see someone else struggle huh?
You are doing great. We are all entitled to a crappy/grumpy day. I myself and having one today. Burned the CRAP out of my neck this morning with a curling iron. Blister and all!! Grr...
Good for you; you're doing great. I am still in the "bursting into tears" stage. I told my husband this morning I wanted to return him. he told me I cant let the other kids hear my negative attitude about the baby. Lord help.
my "encouraging" mother told me "you would think having two kids is twice the work, but it's really TEN TIMES the work"... thanks mom... i guess the pearls of wisdom run in the family. good for you for letting your mom help! you deserve some help. and so do i dammit!!! ill take some Xanax and wine too while im at it.
I actually hired a teenager for a week after hubby went back to work after #2. I just couldn't do it alone!
Thanks, Jaci, I really needed to read this post tonight! Once again mommy bloggyland is helping me to not feel so alone in my daily momming struggles!
Learning makes a good man better and ill man worse.............................................................
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