Breaking Up With My 20's

You taught me...

- College is no more difficult than high school (and just as meaningless).

- You don't pick a major because you "like" it--you pick it because it leads to a decent career.

- Roommates SUCK

- Beer is gross.  Girlie drinks are too syrupy.  Wine is awesome.

- I can cook.

- Having a nerdy side is hawt.

- Guys don't like a lot of make-up but they're suckers for fake blondes.

- Only women hate boobs and butts.

- Ramen noodles make you fat.

- Clubbin' after age 25 is just sad.

- Never ignore my Bull Shit Detector

- "Friends with Benefits" means one side wants in while the other wants someone better.

- Every woman has a crazy bitch inside her--it just takes the right guy screwing her over to bring her out.

- "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

- Weddings are like Prom with a 5 year old girl's Pretty Pretty Princess Party mixed in.  Lame.

- The Honeymoon's over when one of you farts and waves it in their face.

- Don't give a guy a video game unless you want to go to bed alone every night for 6 months.

- Student loans are worse than child support.  You won't get out of it when your degree turns 18.

- There's no shame in working to put food on the table--no matter how demeaning the job is.

- Paying bills blows.

- Marriage is for better and for worse--and the worst part almost killed us.   

- Love is changing the sheets after someone *ahem, Jaci* gets the stomach flu and poops in the bed at 3 am.

- Childbirth hurts.  Fo' realz.

20...you were swell.  We had some laughs, but let's just admit that it's time for us to go our separate ways.  I mean--it's not YOU!  It's ME!  I need some time to find myself and...


Oh, hell.  I could never lie to you, could I?  Alright.  I met someone else.  He's really special and thinks like me...  Let's face it, 20.  We've grown apart.  

I'm moving in with 30.