You Don't Have to Go Home But You Can't Stay Here

Bitter.  Depressed.  Angry.  These words keep resurfacing in my negative feedback.

I'm not the type of person to roll my eyes and wave my middle finger in your general direction when you tell me I'm wrong.  I may talk tough here, but in real life?  I listen.  I consider it.  And?  I'll thank you for pointing it out.

Maturity--it's a wonderful thing. 

When the anonholes joined forces and said in unison, "Wow, unhappy much?" it got to me.  And when a company turned me down because my blog read as more "depressive" than "cheeky" I woke up.

The Mad in my title should be defined as crazy, but for the past year or so it's just meant...uhhh...mad.  Angry.  Discontent.  The Disaster That Must Not Be Named ripped my humorous outlook to pieces and left me jaded and cynical and seeped into my writing. 

My blog has turned into a place where I go to vent and I feel like I can't come here with anything else.  Like the Beth Moore study I'm reading.  Or the quilt I'm hand-finishing.  Or how I'm excited to re-paint my bedroom (again) or that I'm dreaming about summer and trips to the zoo with a 1 year old and the end of shelling out $60 per month for Elodie's liquid gold.  Or that I'm having fun playing Barbies with Elizabeth and making one of them the bad girl who insults all the other Barbies.

My Readers want sarcasm and rants.  Hand them a piece about the joy of quilting?  Pffft.  So I wrote what "belongs" here--negativity and frustration with a side of anger.

Lately, my blog hasn't been about writing anyway.  It's turned into a place where I throw open my curtains and say, "Want to see how I'm struggling with motherhood?  PEEK IN THE WINDOWS!  JUDGE ME!"  And I hate that.  I never wanted to put my life on display (I blame the pregnancy updates for getting me here) and I want to stop it because frankly?  It's none of your business.

I've thought many, many times about ending the blog, but I hung on because I built something good here.  "I have followers!  I have a recognized name!  I'm crawling my way up!"  But to what?  Really?!?  What is a blogger in the grand scheme of things?!?

This blog isn't bringing me joy, and it certainly isn't worth the $30 per month I get in ad revenue.  And now that I know that it isn't going to help me reach my real goals...well...

I'm not going to invest my time here anymore.

I have babies to take care of.  Work to do.  And a novel to write. 

I'll be around.  I'll post something funny occasionally.  But The Raving Angry Housewife is dead.

The Mad Housewife Society: Where's My Damn Cape?

Today's Mad Housewife is from Jessie at Shutterbug Mama.  I think every mother since the dawn of time can relate to this post.  I know I can...although Kevin has never gone hunting...and I'd probably give him the Homey Don't Play That look if he tried.

Let me start off by saying I by no means thought that raising a family would be easy.  But I never thought I would need super powers.  Let's set the stage.  I have a 17 year old step-daughter and two boys, 9 and 10 1/2 months.  I know, big age gap, that is another post in its self.  Also, I have a full time job.  Let's go through mine and my husbands typical day shall we.

Me:

Wake up at 6:00 a.m. so that I can do my hair and make up and try and find something that will fit my post prego body.  Wake up the 9 year old so that he can get himself dressed, teeth brushed and occasionally his own breakfast.  I also need to wake up the baby, change his diaper, get him dressed and make a bottle.  By now it is a little after 7.  I get both kids shuffled into the car.  Thank God the teenager wakes herself up and is self sufficient.  We leave the house.  I drop the 9 year old off at school and then take the baby to day care.  Then I go to work...for 8 hours.  Sometimes I do errands during my lunch hour, Wal-mart trips, prescription pick ups, you know, things of that nature.  When I get off at 5, I leave and go get both boys from daycare.  Once a week I pick up the boys and then go to the grocery store...clearly I have a death wish of some kind.  I usually get home around 6.  I change the baby's diaper and put him down with his toys.  After, I make sure the 9 year old did his homework and didn't get in trouble that day.  Then I eyeball the house and make sure the teenager did her chores.  Lately this hasn't been a problem (she has a boyfriend and wants to stay ungrounded, she has become the model daughter, no lie).  When the kids are taken care of, I start dinner.  Some times while cooking dinner I start a load of laundry as well.  I usually do at least one load of laundry every other night.  Why do my kids wear so many clothes.  After dinner I usually give the baby a bath and then hand him over to his dad and go and clean the kitchen.  When I am done with the kitchen I take the baby from the hubby and put him to bed.  If I have no laundry to do...I can then relax.  It is usually no between 7:30 and 8 p.m.  

Hubby:

I wake him up about 6:45 so he can brush his teeth, put on his uniform, kiss the kids and be in his truck by 7.  He works for 9 hours and comes home.  When he arrives home he walks in the house with a beer.  Takes off his shoes and work shirt and sits on the couch until dinner.  After dinner he gets back on the couch until I bring him the baby which he entertains until I'm done with cleaning the kitchen.  After he is free of baby duty he goes back to the t.v. until 10.  He then showers and goes to bed.

Honestly...he wonders why sometimes I'm a bitch?  Let me add that right now is deer season and my husband is a hunter.  That means that AT LEAST 2 weekends of the month he is gone from Friday morning until Sunday evening.  That means I have 3 kids 24/7 BY MYSELF.  I often feel a little suffocated and like I never have time for myself.  

Why can't woman have a "hunting" weekend.  I've never been able to just say "hey, the girls and I will be gone for the weekend".  No, I'm the mom.  So I first have to check with hubby and see what his plans are and then will he need a sitter at all and if so I need to set that up.  I also need to make sure he has all the groceries and baby things that he might need while I'm gone.  God forbid he have to leave the house.  We have a freakin teenager...leave the boys with her and go to the store.  When he goes hunting there is no checking if I have anything planned or anything.

Let's take this weekend.  He is leaving Friday morning.  I want to take a free photo class Friday at 5.  I work Saturday form 9-1.  My company Christmas party starts at 4 Saturday evening.  Luckily I have a wonderful teenager and we worked out the boys schedules together.  She will take one boy with her Friday night to the movies, I will take the baby.  She will watch them both while I'm working and they will all go with me to my Christmas party (it is a family thing).

I am woman hear me rawr.  I can take anything you throw at me.  I helped raise a wonderful teenager daughter (who isn't mine but I would claim ANY day of the week) and two beautiful boys.  I work, I have friends, I find time to blog, scrapbook and even have a glass of wine from time to time to relax.  

How about you?  Do you know where your cape is?

 

Want to be a Mad Housewife?  Send your guest post to me at ravingsofamadhousewife@gmail.com and be featured next Friday!

I Believe in Work At Home Opportunities! And Santa Claus. And Filter Queen.

'Tis the season to be scaaaam-ed!  Fa, la, la, la, laaaa, la, la, la...la.

I saw a work-at-home ad in the newspaper (I know, I know) and called about it because...um...well, my hours got cut and I lost $200 a month and I need to replace it, mmmkay?  I can do telemarketing while changing diapers and yelling at a 5 year old to stop sneaking in the Christmas gifts and trying to stretch 2 chicken breasts into three healthy meals.  I am WOMAN.  Rawwwrrr!

So.  The interview.

It was a local company!  In business for 80 years!  Selling quality products!  And the guy gave me unlimited cups of coffee (with Hazelnut creamer, mind you) and flattered me with compliments about my intelligence and general all-around awesomeness.

Did you know he hasn't had to hire for this job in 7 years because it is such a good job that no one ever quits?  I mean, he's only interviewing because a lady retired after 14 years.  I had fallen into something like winning the lottery!  And he's going to hire me because he can see that I have something in me and I'm going to be great at this job.  (Just call me a special snowflake!)  I was going to make--are you ready?--I was going to make at least $1,000 per month.   

And get this:  I could be at home with my kids while doing it.  I could have dinner on the table at night when my husband came home.  And?  I wouldn't have someone else raising my children.

I'll let that one settle in for awhile.

...

...

...


Back to the job...

All you have to do is call from this list of people!  It's not cold calling--these people filled out contact forms and want someone to call them!  Call these people and schedule an appointment for one of our salesmen to come to their house and take some air samples and show them how our miraculous air filters work!  And?  AND?  To thank them for their time--and without any purchase whatsoever, now, just to thank them for considering--we're going to give them a FREE MINI-VACATION!  So all you have to do is get people to agree to look at our product for a FREE VACATION!  Now how easy is that?  Do you think you can give away FREE VACATIONS?

At this point my face went into my classic WTF? sneer and I interrupted to say, "WHY?  If your product is so good, why do you need to sell it with free vacations?  Sounds like a scam."

Why, to thank them for their time!  And why would this seem like a scam?!?  I'm giving them a vacation.  *insert belittling anger*   I buy these things for pennies on the dollar.  I have over a 70% sales rate.  I treat my customers well and I run into them every weekend at the grocery store.  But I'm glad you said that...it shows me something about your character that you'd question it.  See?  I knew there was something in you.

Now.  For your training...  I'm giving you TEN of these vacations to give away to your friends and family!  Remember, they don't cost me much! *wink*  Give them to your friends and tell them you need help with your training.  I'll come to their house with you and put on one of my demonstrations so you can take notes--because you'll be more relaxed in their homes rather than a strangers, right?

"No, actually, I'm fine with going to someone--"

No, you'll be uncomfortable.  Get 10 of your friends.

...

...

...

Oh, internets.  I wish I could say at this point that I laughed and walked out.  But I didn't.  (I blame the Lexipro Shakes, but really?  I was just that dumb.  And desperate for an extra $200 or so a month.)

I came home and Googled his name, his company name, every combination of crap I could think of looking for Better Business complaints or some confirmation that it was a scam.  But I couldn't find anything.  Then I thought, "Well, I'm not out anything to try it right?  I'm not investing money.  Maybe it's legit?" and I started asking friends if they wanted a free weekend trip somewhere.

I sat on it all weekend, feeling that Creeper Twinge.  I racked my brain for something, some detail that I must be overlooking.  And why the hell did he need 10 of my friends?  I could see maybe 2 or 3--but 10?!?  How many freaking times do I need to observe the sales pitch?  Especially since I'm not going to be selling the shit, I'll be making phone calls!

Then I remembered the name of the air filters because I saw a framed picture of it for 1/2 a second walking past the conference room--Filter Queen.

So I Googled it.

BINGO.

Basically, this guy has a big giveaway at the Pittsburgh Home and Garden Show and people enter it by filling out the contact forms.  They don't win the car (I bet no one does) but he hands the forms off to women like me who call and say:  "Mr. Smith?  You remember the car giveaway you entered at the Pittsburgh Home and Garden Show?  Well, you didn't win the car--but I have good news!  You won the 2nd prize:  A FREE VACATION!  CONGRATULATIONS!  Now, someone will be coming to your house to drop off your vacation package, but you need to be there for it!  What day is good for you?"

Eh, voila.  Appointment set.

And Mr. Smith opens his door expecting to be handed a vacation package and finds a pushy vacuum cleaner salesmen instead.  The salesman drags his shit inside and says, "Mr. Smith, before I give you your prize, I need to go through a demonstration..." and he dumps a jar full of dirt on his carpet and proceeds to sweep it up and tell him how unhealthy his house is.  Think of the dust mites!  Now, for $4,000...

Mr. Smith says, "Whatever, buddy, I'm not buying a vacuum," but the salesman won't leave.  He points of the health hazards of his house. He guilt trips him about his piss poor sales.  He gets on the phone with his "boss" and loudly carries on about "What did I do wrong?  He doesn't want to buy!"  And then finally--3 hours later--he takes the filter out of his handy dandy vacuum, dumps his dirt back on the floor, and leaves.

And that free vacation packet?  It's sitting on Mr. Smith's table with important codes--OOPS!--left blank.  Worthless.

I sent the guy an e-mail with all my google links and said, "Thank you for the opportunity, but I'm going to pass."

I almost fell for it.  STUPID!  STUUUUPID!!!

The Mad Housewife Society: Your Post Should Be Here

No guest post this week.  (Lots of people working on them, but none turned in yet.  Gawd, you people act like it's Christmas or something.)

I planned on leaving today's post at that until I woke up to this:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "I Love Working":

Wow, you and your readership seem to be really angry and unhappy. If you want your daughter to be better behaved, I'd suggest starting to actually like and enjoy her. She can tell how you really fell. 

I love how anonholes are always able to sneak into my Bad Thoughts, pick a real doozy, and then throw it in my face when I check my e-mail at 3 am.

Anyway, I can't focus on this.  I'm going through some serious Lexipro withdrawals and I'm struggling enough as it is.  So I'll just say, "Satan, get thee behind me!" and move on.

Have a guest post for The Mad Housewife Society?  Send your submissions to ravingsofamadhousewife@gmail.com