This weekend, I downloaded our pictures and worked on Elodie's baby book. While I was re-sizing and removing red eye, my hand hovered over the extra special buttons...teeth whitening...thinning...blemish corrector...
I was sooo tempted to photoshop the pictures of me.
If I thin myself by 38%, whiten my teeth, and buff out the evil 11's between my eyebrows I look like me!!! Er, the idea of me that lives in my head anyway; the Jaci that's 24, gorgeous, and modeled at a bridal show.
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| Runways and crippling insecurity DON'T MIX. (1st AND LAST time I modeled.) |
The real Jaci is 31, overweight and has coffee-stained teeth.
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| *sigh* |
Don't get me wrong, I'm alllll about cropping large chunks off my hips (or trimming a slab o' arm flab) and turning a craptastic picture into one I wouldn't mind putting in a frame. And okay, I have used the teeth whitening button. *cough* MY HEADER *cough* But altering all of our everyday, family pictures?
I can't do it.
I have daughters! Girls who are growing up in this horrible culture of BE FLAWLESS. What am I saying by photoshopping all of our family pictures behind the scenes? How can I hand them albums full of glowing, weirdly buffed images of something resembling their mother filmed only from the waist up?
This picture really made my decision. I love it because I have no makeup on, the TV is in the background, and the room is darkened like a cave. It captured the crazy/wonderful/chaotic period of Newborn.
I should crop out the TV, mess around with the exposure, cover my red cheeks with air-brushing/shine remover, zap the moles from my arm, thin myself by 30%, and whiten my teeth. But that would edit out the truth--and the beauty--of the whole picture. It's a moment in time as New Mom, not a Glamor Shot for my vanity.
There's a picture of my great-grandma standing with her young kids in the 1930's. She has my legs! Those meaty, thick, irritating peasant legs. If she had my technology she might have "touched up" that photo--but I'm glad she didn't. That picture is meaningful to me because of her flaws.
I hope my girls can find the same comfort in pictures of me someday.
I'm still cringing at shots of me with double chins, stomach rolls, and meaty cankles, but I'm quietly tucking them in our albums. It's more than just a bad picture of me--it's a picture of Mom.
14 comments:
this is probably my favorite post ever. i am exactly the same way (tempted to fix the pictures to make me feel better about how i look). i also have girls, and agree that it is super important for them to see us how we are, and not how we wish we were. thank you for writing this.
What a wonderful post, Jaci! I do photo retouching for my mother in-law's photography business. Mostly weddings. Needless to say, these women want to see perfect skin, white teeth and no double chins when they get their photos back. Half the time, I edit them and realize they look nothing like the original...however, it is what the costumer wants. I'm a mom of two girls and three boys. Overweight, bad skin, hair, and yes the coffee teeth. It takes a lot for me to not completely make myself over in pictures. I was so dishearten last year when the forms for school pictures came home. They now offer a retouching service for KID'S pictures!! :(
I hate my yellow teeth. I have not used the teeth whitener, i have no idea why!!! But i can't even whiten them b/c i have veneers (whitening won't hurt them but won't WORK! haha!). I am definitely fond of cropping out a huge chunk of hip or arm!!!! Haha!
But i SO agree w/ you about this post! We aren't supposed to be perfect. I like our flaws. It makes us real. :)
I see a very beautiful and healthy mama who loves her baby and being a mother:)) All in due time you can make those little changes that drive you crazy right now....enjoy being a mother and your beautiful!
k
Easy solution here. Be too poor to afford Photoshop and instead sneak to the back of photos or try to avoid them altogether. It's gotten so bad that my friends all say, "I know, don't tag you on Facebook."
Sigh. I'm sure I'm passing on this horrible self image to my sons and teaching them to love size two girls with big boobs and fake hair.
All joking aside, you are beautiful. You're a mom, you're a fantastic writer and you have a perspective that a lot of women (myself included) seem to be missing. Kudos to you!
Beautiful post; and beautiful picture!
I have soooo many pictures of me stuck in albums (long before digital or photoshop) that I couldn't stand at the time (but holy cow! I PAID to have those pictures developed - I couldn't throw them away!). But now, when I look back on them I can see who I was and how I *really* looked. And it's not as bad as I imagined. Was I perfect? No.
Now I do have the ability to "fix" or even "delete" unflattering pictures - but I usually don't - mainly because I'm lazy, but also because I know when I look back in about 10 to 20 years, I'll be more forgiving.
My mother died suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 8 and there were very few pictures of her because she didn't like the way she looked either. But those I have, flaws and all, are precious. Especially, as you said, because they are REAL and I see my REAL mom and can see how she and I are alike, since I wasn't old enough to be curious about that when she died.
You are a great mom, with great foresight. kudos.
This post was beautiful Jaci. I loved it. You are so right....it is a picture of a mom.
Being a Mom brings it's own beauty! And our kids only see the beauty. I think that's amazing!
This makes me think of my sister-in-law's jokes about my mother-in-law having a horrible singing voice.
I swear, when I've heard her sing songs to my daughter, it's the sweetest voice I've ever heard.
These songs are sung a million times over around the world, but what sets them apart for my daughter is her grandmother's voice.
A child doesn't hear the imperfection of the tune, they hear the love from the singer. How could anyone not hear it too??
This is a great post, and you are absolutely right. Also, you see yourself in a different light than anyone else in the world will. You see all your flaws, others only see an awesome mom who happens to be pretty cute. Seriously.
wait, what?!!? there is a 30% thinner button in photoshop??!?!! why did i not know this??? please do a followup post with a tutorial on that.
and before some anonyhole comes and tells me i missed the point of this post, DUH, this is called sarcasm.
but im i do kindof want to to know about this 30% thinner trick. just for, you know, reference.
loved it too!!!! I want the legacy that I pass to my children (6), sons & daughters both, is one of self worth, empowerment, and compassion. What a great reminder and note to self to get me a new digital camera!!! Thanks
Sonya
@Pearl: I use Picnic, and there is a button called InstaThin. It seems to stretch the picture length, so you look longer and leaner. (Psst...Picnic is FREE.)
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