Liz Lemon, Marla Hooch and House Fraus. Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this.

I've been working out every day for anywhere between 15-30 minutes.  As Liz Lemon would say, "I have been BMing like a pro!"  Seriously, my poop schedule has never been this regular.  

However, all this working out is translating into a big fat ZERO on the weight loss front.  Me and Weight Loss just aren't friends.  So I'm upping the ante by consuming as little as possible throughout the day and going to bed so hungry my chest aches.  Meh.  It worked in college.

Speaking of Liz Lemon...Elizabeth watched an episode of 30 Rock with me and then said, "Mommy!  You look just like Liz!"

We share the same glasses.  And stress eating.

I took it as a compliment because most days?  I think I look like Marla Hooch.

But, here I am, with my recently dyed-back-to-brown hair.

Taken in my work bathroom, because it is the only place in the world where no one will barge in on me, demanding "cheese cackies" and "ooce."

I'm pushing the weight loss because Kevin's 40th Birthday is this weekend and I'm throwing a big party for him.  (A real party!  At an adults only bar!  NO KIDS!!!)  I'm stupidly vain and want to look like his 10-years-younger-hot-wife and NOT the frumpy house frau in a Target sweater.

(see above pic)

I was going to wear this semi-skanky one shoulder top (Britney Spears circa 2001) but I put it on and horrified myself with my upper arm cellulite + an underarm boob roll.  I ripped the shirt off in the midst of a small panic attack.  I'm a 31 year old mother who hasn't really looked in a mirror in 3 years.  I should have known better than to try that thing on.

Now I'm rethinking that lion shoulder tattoo I've always wanted.  I can't pull that off.  Probably just as well, because I wanted it to be a dark brown medieval lion--brown like a big mole--and everyone I've shared this idea with thought it was disgusting.  I guess I'm the only one broad-minded enough to embrace moles.

I would have ROCKED that mole.